


I will tear down your defense walls with love

by vespina



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Angst and Romance, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, F/M, Family Secrets, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Funny, Idiots in Love, Jealousy, Lesbian Character, Lesbian Sex, Medical Professionals, Miscarriage, Other, Past Rape/Non-con, Rating: M, Reporter Kara Danvers, Reporter Nia Nal, Shameless Smut, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-16 12:07:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 39,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29824686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vespina/pseuds/vespina
Summary: Kara Danvers never fell in love again after she left college.Lena Luthor never craved a woman more than her ex-roommate Kara Danvers after she left college.Kara Danvers has overcome the obstacles life tossed her way…but she can’t shake her long-standing crush on her former roommate, Lena Luthor. The sexy bad girl is back in her life and using Kara inn as a personal playground. Kara should kick her out of her system, but her heated glances are making her wanting Lena more.Lena Luthor craves for Kara night and day, but all she can offer is a few no-strings nights to burn off a little steam. Lena learned to despise romance—love brings loss. Except, being with Kara only makes her burn for more, slowly learning how to love and let Kara tear down her defense walls.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 18
Kudos: 58





	1. Weak Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Hello Ao3 reader.
> 
> In this AU, Lena Luthor is a doctor and a surgeon with a bad girl reputation in Kara´s memories, but the truth is - it´s just a self-defense mechanism to protect her heart, and her two best friends Samantha Arias and Alex Danvers know that. Why did Lena break up with Kara in college?
> 
> Constructive comments are wonderful for my brain, ideas, also Kudos.  
> I hope you enjoy the story. 
> 
> Ps: The AU has been translated. Sorry for any grammatical mistakes.
> 
> Well, if you want to find out what will happen between Kara and Lena, and what dark secret Lena was hiding from Kara. Stay tuned.
> 
> Shall, we...

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Kara Danvers was leaving with Mike together. He was just a work colleague, but his presence was getting on Kara´s nerves since he lost his job. 

Cat Grant had discharged him because apparently, Mike´s main job was to fuck all his female colleges at work.

Kara didn’t know how the hell Brainy convinced her to help Mike out for a while, but she did it because Kara Danvers had a big heart even for idiots like Mile.

Kara came home late at home after a life reporting she was tired and hungry, but her bedroom was occupied by Mike's new playmates. She decided to sleep on the couch and talk to Mike in the morning. No chance her was gone before Kara could talk to him.

Kara was cleaning her room and groaned. Her bed had been wrecked, the comforter and pillows tossed haphazardly on the floor.  
A pair of panties hung from a bedpost.  
The TV remote had been busted, the pieces scattered across the nightstand. Wet towels created a path to the bathroom door and the trash can…

Oh, gag me! The trash can contained used condoms. The place needed to be decontaminated by people wearing hazmat suits.

"Am I up to date on my vaccinations?" Thought Kara.

With a sigh, Kara anchored earbuds in place, keyed up her iPod, and donned a pair of latex gloves. One...germs. Gross! Two...she was protective of the white nail polish she’d applied only the day before.

She selected color based on mood but never the color Green = Lena Luthor´s eyes color.

Somehow she’d known today would suck.

Her Sister Alex must have tried to warn Kara that Mike was having a private orgy last night, but Kara was not home. Thank God, she thought.

Kara picked up the dirty towels, removed the panties from the post, emptied the trash, changed the sheets on the bed, straightened the pillows and covers, and tossed the remote remains. 

Kara was done with this shit. Mike went too far. Her bedroom was a no-go. This was too much for Kara.

She left a note for Mike to move out.

Time was limited this morning. She’d promised to drive her friend and work colleague Nia Nal to her doctor -Crap! Less than an hour. She rushed through dusting and began vacuuming.

When Kara finished she had ten minutes to get ready.

(Ding-Dong)

"Good morning, Kara."

"Good morning, Nia...I made you a coffee."

"Thank you, but I need to stay sober for the appointment. The doctor will run some blood tests, no coffee. Maybe later..."

"I hope he can find a solution for your problem."

"I hope so...by the way, I changed the doctor..."

"Why? I thought he was the best surgeon in the City?" Asked Kara.

"Your sister Alex gave me the number of this new doctor, and Alex said I was in better hands with this surgeon."

"Okay...I mean, Alex knows a lot of specialists, and if she tells you he's better than Dr. Starn, then I´m sure you are in good hands. Shall we?"

"Yes!"

…”

“Kara, thank you for doing this. I appreciate that you are helping me. You know how Brainy is, always worried...”

“Please, Nia! What are friends for…

…”

“Can you give me the address, please?”

“Oh, no need! It´s your mother’s private clinic.”

“He works in Eliza´s private clinic? He must be very good!” Said Kara.

Twenty minutes later.

Kara and Nia were sitting in the waiting room when Dr. Sam Arias came in. “Good Morning ladies.”

“Hi, Sam. Is Alex here?”

“Not yet, she wanted to bring Ruby to school. She will be here in a minute.”

“What about mom, I didn’t see her either?”

“Eliza is having a tour with Kelly around the clinic.” Said Sam.

“So, Kelly is staying in Nacional City?”

“Yes, Kara...Alex and Kelly cleared everything. No need to be worried. If I´m not worried - you don´t need to be worried. Okay...”

“Okay...” That sounded in Kara´s ears like Sam was jealous.

“Nia, how do you feel? Everything okay?”

“Yes, Sam. Thank you for asking.”

“Don´t worry. You are in good hands here.” Said Sam when the doctor's office door opens. “Miss, Nia Nal.” Said a woman’s voice.

Surprise expelled the air from Kara´s lungs, leaving her gasping. This so wasn’t happening right now.

It couldn’t be happening.

Dreams didn’t come to life like this. Nor did pornos. Not that Kara watched those…often. But dang it, this had to be one or the other.

The sexiest woman on the planet had just opened the door to heaven or to Kara´s hell. She was beautiful and her name was Lena Luthor.

The Lena. The roommate crush she’d never forgotten. The first girl to break her already fragile heart and the woman she fell in love with or still is today.

Kara gulped. What was Lena doing here? Wait. Like Kara needed to ponder this one. Her hands trembled as she yanked at Nia´s jacket, the waiting room descending into silence.

Sam was the first to say something.

"Good morning, Lena."

"Good morning, Sam."

"Lena, this is Alex´s sister, Kara."

"I know!" Said Lena smiling.

"Oh, you two know each other?"

"Yes!" Said Lena.

That´s bad news though, Sam. She hoped for a millisecond that Kara was not the famous Kara.

Kara smoothed her trembling hands down her Jeans "Uh, hi. Hello.” Oh, wow. Could she be any awkward? Definitely in a nightmare, not a porno and not a dream. “Welcome to Nacional City, Dr. Luthor,” Said Kara.

Lena raised her eyebrows. "Nice to see you again, Miss Danvers." Said Lena.

Then suddenly Mike stormed into the waiting room after reading Kara´s massage. “Sorry about the mess. I planned to clean up before you came home but the sex was so good.” His gaze darted throughout the room, and he cringed. “I also plan to pay for the remote...”

"What kind of sexual acrobatics had placed the poor remote in harm’s path, anyway?" Said Nia Nal.

Lena looked confused was Kara together with that jerk? Lena was more confused by asking herself if Kara was in love with a caveman...

"Oh, my fucking...you are insane, Mike!" A warm flush poured over Kara, threatening to overheat her. She almost fanned her cheeks for relief to have seen Lena again, barely stopped herself and this fucking idiot was ruing the moment. Lena must have thought he was her boyfriend.

“Mike, can you please leave now, Thank you... We talk when I come home.” Said Kara.

“Yes, of course.” Said Mike and he left.

In the meantime, Kara didn’t see that Lena and Nia left the waiting room and Sam was standing crossed arms with a lot of question marks on her face.

“First! When does Mike exit your apartment and Second! Is Dr. Lena Luthor...Lena? From college?” Asked Sam.

“First! I don´t know, but I hope soon and second! Yes, yes, yes, and yes…”

“So, not only do I have to explain to my wife that our best friend Lena is the Lena that broke your heart, but also I have to deal with this mess in the future. That´s...fantastic...I needed a month to accept that Alex’s ex-girlfriend is working here and don´t get me wrong, I like Kelly a lot, but now I also need to deal with Lena being here because of you. That´s...Why? I have a teenage daughter at home and she´s hell at the moment...Ugh...”

“Because of me?”

“Come on Kara, why should Lena want to work here if it´s not for you? She could have worked in her hospital in Metropolis. She´s the owner of ten private clinics around the world...I need coffee. I start to feel weak without my caffeine doses.” Said Sam.

“This is going to be hell...I can feel it...I can already see Alex’s face at dinner. God, she loves Lena...Alex and Lena are close friends…

“How close?” Asked Kara.

“Kara? Do you still remember in your smart brain that Alex is my wife? What the hell, Kara? What kind of question is that?”

“I love you too! The best sister-in-law in the world...see you soon…

“Yeah, love you too…” Said Sam, walking out of the waiting room murmuring to herself.

Kara sat on the chair again waiting for Nia to come out of the medical consulting office.

Lena was just so freaking beautiful. She was even beautiful now, than she was in college, so sexy, with a soft but also tough face. Her cheekbones were just a dream, and her nose so cute. Her hair color changed. Lena was a modern-day woman - literally out of a fashion magazine. After college, she’d joined the family business, but apparently, she changed her mind and became a brilliant surgeon too besides her other doctor degrees.

This was the first time Kara had seen Lena since they broke up with her and left college. Her body reacted as if she’d never seen any woman besides Lena, heating, and tingling in all the naughtiest places.

Act naturally. She’s just Nia´s doctor. Told Kara herself.

During her year of being Cat Grant´s assistant Kara read a few articles about Lena. She hadn’t just slept with Andrea Rojas a hot businesswoman; she’d slept with a string of beautiful, popular women as if banging someone had finally been dubbed a national sport.

Kara was not sure if everything she read was the truth, but knowing Lena, some of them landed in her bedroom. Lena had a bad girl reputation in Kara´s memories.

Anger boiled her blood until bitterness swept in, leaving a glaze of frost. Fire and ice. This wasn’t the first time they’d battled it out, and this wouldn’t be the last. The biggest downside? Alex ensured her that the wounds inside her hollowed-out chest never really had a chance to heal if she couldn't forget Lena.

After graduation, Kara moved to Nacional City, started to work for Catco Magazine, became a reporter, just as she’d always dreamed. Kara had one relationship with a nice woman named Siobahn in the past, but she could never forget Lena and that made her relationship with her ex-girlfriend difficult. They broke up last year and Kara was happy about it. Siobahn deserved to be fully loved not as Kara did.

Her flush returned full force as she thought of Lena…all the pleasure she’d been having…all the pleasure Kara wished she could experience with another woman, but no...her brain was only capable to think of Lena even when she had sex with another woman.

Not with Lena, of course. With someone, she liked and respected. Someone who liked and respected her, too, even though she was still too awkward for society’s standards.

Lena Luthor would never be qualified enough to be her future wife.

Kara found Lena attractive and irresistible, yes, but to her, appearance would never outshine personality. Kara´s woman must be her equal. Kara had a lot of love to give. She’d even grown to like herself…kind of. Maybe. Fine, she was trying to like herself more in the last past few years.

This was only the theory.

So far Kara decided to leave with rules after Lena broke her heart. (1) Four seasons—the weather, not the hotel chain always be happy every day no matter what. (2) An enchanted forest. Kara wanted to make a holiday in Ireland. (3) A striptease dance club for her next birthday. (4) The underwater world of Atlantis. Kara loved the water, she wanted to go swimming more often. (5) A house. That was what Kara called the love of her life, to meet someone she could call her home. And (6) A wet dream not with Lena Luthor in it.

Again this was the theory and now her rules were vanishing since she saw Lena again. Also up for consideration right now? A beach hut in the desert, an igloo in Alaska, an insane asylum room reservation if Lena would kiss her, and a desert private oasis that Lena couldn’t buy...

Kara was caught from her thoughts when the door open. “I see you next week, Miss Nal.”

“Thank you, Dr. Luthor.” Nia smiled.

Every pulse point in Kara´s body leaped with excitement when she saw Lena smiling at her.

Lena winked at Kara. Her!

Kara asked Nia if she was okay.

"I think she´s perfect just the way she is, she needed only someone to rimed her." Said Lena to Nia smiling.

Red alert! Kara would not read more into Lena´s words than she’d intended. Not this time. Lena was a flirt, plain and simple. Always had been, apparently always would be.

Lena walked inside her office again and closed the door.

“God, she´s the best, Kara. She´s so nice and...Kara, everything alright?” Asked Nia.

Air caught in Kara´s throat and sizzled. Lena has the sexiest body on the planet. Her entire face was soft. Lena pulsed with new life; fresh and vibrant, she was the epitome of all seasons.

“Kara, huh...are you okay?” Asked Nia again.

“Lena?”

“Yes, her name is Dr. Lena Luthor.” Said Nia perplex.

“She´s my Lena...the Lena…

“OMFG! No way?”

“Yes, way...I´m so fucked, Nia.”

“That´s bad! Let´s get out of her, you look like a puppy in desperate need of cuddles...”

“Do you think…

“Go! Get out of here…you are drooling.”

“I need…

“Just to get out of here!”

“But…

“Nope...you need to learn her game before - you little miss sunshine speaks to her ever again! You are not going to fall into her trap again. It took you years to get over her...out of here, now!”

“Yes, mom.” Said Kara annoyed.

Ten minutes later in the car, Kara was still thinking of Lena.

“I can go to my next appointments on my own, thank you very much, Kara.”

“But…

“No!”

“She so…

“She´s a medusa, look at you? God! Ugh...you are not telling me you still in love with her?”

“I can´t stop thinking about her...she´s like a witch that gave me a love potion and I can´t stop my body from wanting her. Am I crazy?”

“No...I mean, she´s nice and yes, beautiful, but after what you told me what happened between you two, you should stay away from her.” Said Nia worried.

“Nia?”

“You know what? I gave you the number from a good friend of mine. Tell her I send you to pump you up, she knows what it means. Not what you think, Kara. Relax!” Said Nia laughing.

“Okay, whatever it takes to forget Lena.”

“It´s more training how not to be hurt again, Kara. You need more Self-confidence and a more - go fuck yourself attitude. You are sexy, gorgeous, funny and your body makes every lesbian on this planet dream. God, I would date you if I wasn´t so in love with Brainy.”

“Do you think Lena is a bitch?”

“No! She´s just a hole digger after your description…

“Nia?”

“What?”

“Words please, you are a reporter...the right term would be…

“A female gigolo?”

“Yeah!”

“Cat Grant would call her…

“Stop!”

“Siobahn would call her…

“I know Siobahn oppnion on Lena.”

“Good!”

“Ahh, and don´t forget what Alex calls her…

“God...Alex? Shit, Sam just found out that her best friend Lena is the Lena. Alex will be furious…

“I see already an epic disaster happening at your mother’s clinic. Like the famous painting of Dante´s; Hell. Inferno.

“Shit, I need to call Alex.” Said Kara.

To be continued…  
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________


	2. Drifted memories - Part one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything started with a party and a beer pong bet.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Kara drove to Catco Magazine. 

Nia had to work after her appointment, wishing her a nice day Kara drove away. 

Today was Kara´s day off, but as expected and predicted, her day became thoughtful and stressful. 

First pit stop: Mister Wang. 

When Kara was stressed she needed calories, lots of calories. 

Second pit stop: 

Gelati da Carlo. Vanilla Ice Cream more than one scope.

Driving home, eating, and calling Alex was on her next list.

Little note to herself - Keep the phone at a distance so she couldn’t become deaf after Alex had finished screaming. 

Stop! Why should Alex yell at her? Thought Kara.

This whole misery was Lena´s fault. Stop Kara, wait a minute, the blonde told herself. 

She opened the door to her apartment. it looked again like a bomb exploded. She was gone for only three hours and it looked like she never had cleaned. 

“Fuck you, Mike!” Kara could hear the shower. He was taking a shower... again?

Kara sat on the couch and started eating. Think of Lena. She was definitely still in love with Lena. Yes, she had no other explanation for her state. This was the reason for her miserable mental state. 

She remembered Alex told her to forget Lena, but she didn't want to forget her!   
Why should she? For Kara, Lena was her everything, her home, even though Lena broke her heart so badly. Suddenly Kara remembered Eliza telling her that it would be time to visit a psychologist because her mother was pretty sure Kara had Stockholm Sally Syndrome. 

Kara told her mother she hadn't been kidnapped or was taken hostage by Lena. Lena Luthor was not a member of a mafia clan.

Eliza didn't even mention the name Lena Luthor in the presence of her daughter again; she only told her to read the family history of the Luthors.

Kara insisted to feel miserable and one day her mother told her that her heart was kidnapped and was still a hostage, she should try to escape. Kara didn’t know if her mother was joking or if she meant it as professional advice.

The anger Kara felt inside was intoxicated her. She was eating cold vanilla ice cream. 

Suddenly she remembered Lena being different from the landscape she had built over the years. The feelings for Lena changed. 

Lena's memories were dark, sad. Stainless Kara only remembered the ugliest piece of their love story and of course the sex and yet, it was never just sex for the two of them. Lena told Kara a million times that it was not just sex for her, but love. 

"Then why the fuck did you leave me!" Kara screamed out loud. 

Kara was sitting on the couch. Mike walked out of the bathroom. 

"Are you okay...?"

"No, I'm not okay!" 

"Can I help you?" Mike sat on the couch with Kara. 

Kara looked at him and she wondered - why the hell was he dressed like an oxford student, smart glasses...a mini caricature of a poor comedian. 

"Are you wearing a carnival costume?" Kara asked.

"Carnival is in six months, Kara," Mike said. 

"You look like an idiot!" Kara said. 

"I wanted to look smart. I have a date with a very intelligent woman." 

"Well, she's not very intelligent if she goes out with you!" Kara said.

"Do you want to charge me for what I did? Or do you have your red vajayjay days?" 

"It's called periods or menstruation?" 

"Yes - that!" 

"You are the biggest asshole I ever met, Mike. I have a bad day and your presence is not making things better. My apartment looks like an atom bomb exploded. When the hell are you moving out?”

“Give me a few days and I ask my new flame if I can move with her in?”

“You are 31 years old. You have no job, and you probably have fucked every woman in Nacional City with an IQ level less than a chicken. I don't get it! Does it make fun? Are you doing this for the next new Olympic games? Are you writing a story about this as an experiment? What the heck is wrong with you?'' Asked Kara, furious.

"Nothing! I like sex. No love, no feelings, just sex!" 

"Wow! Just sex - Yeah! You could be her...Jesus Christ...I can´t... 

"Who?" Asked Mike. 

"My Ex-Girlfriend." 

“You...wait? You are a lesbian?”

“What?”

“You like fish, not meat…

“Ew…

“You like girls.”

“Women.”

“Yeah, that's what I asked.” Said Mike.

“Yes!”

“Oh!”

“OMG...you thought I was...Read Alarm. Panic in Kara´s eyes. No way he thought she was straight. Everyone At Catco Magazine knew she was into women.

“Mike we have a problem.”

“You can say it loud. This is a problem but not impossible...” Said Mike.

“Umm...what?” Asked Kara.

(Ding-Dong) 

"Ohh! My date is here. Can you please open the door?"

"Sure...I would like to see who you fished this time..." Said Kara opened the door and...” Eve Teschmarker?”

“Hi, Kara. Nice to see you.”

“Eve? What are you doing here? Did I miss your call?” Kara asked perplexed.

“Mike and I have a date.” Said Eve smiling.

Kara started to laugh out loud.

“You and Mike... that's brilliant Eve. God, I didn’t know you were a prankster.” Said Kara.

“No! We have a date. That's not a joke.”

“Not a joke?”

“No!”

“Umm...That´s...are you sure?” Asked Kara.

“Yes!”

“Hi, Eve!” Said Mike walking to the door and kissing Eve on the cheek.

“You look good, Mike.” Said Eve.

“You look beautiful and your eyes…mhmm.”

Kara wanted to vomit. 

Mike was looking not decently on Eve´s decolté. 

Her eyes are up there you idiot. thought Kara.

Did Eve just say he looked Good? Eve, is definitely drunk? Kara thought.

“Are you ready to go?” Asked Eve.

“Yes!” Said Mike.

“Have a nice evening Kara.” Said Eve smiling.

“You too! Have fun...Mike PSS Mike... by the way...you have one week to move out!” Said Kara closing the door smiling.

“But, Kara...

Kara was finally alone and called Alex. She took a deep breath and called her sister.

“Alex...”

“Hi!”

“Are you okay?”

“Between a scale from 100 and down to 0... I´m trying to be calm. Sam told me that our Lena is your Lena. We need to talk about Lena.” Said Alex.

Kara could hear just Lena. Lena. Lena.

“What do you mean by talk?”

“Talk like adults.”

“I don't want to talk about Lena. I thought you would scream and be pissed at her, maybe tell her to leave Nacional City.”

“Tell her to leave? That doesn't sound good to me.”

“What?”

“Can you please try to stay calm?”

"Calm? I was thinking that you may have had a stroke or a heart attack, but I can hear you are perfectly fine with her being here and make my life more miserable.   
I don´t understand? Is your friendship with Lena more important than your sister’s feelings?”

“Yes, my friendship with Lena is important! Sam is important - Ruby is important and my sister and our mother are important to me! Why didn’t you ever tell me her last name?   
We could have cleared this a long time ago, years ago! You told mom but you never told me? Kara, we need to talk! You need to talk with Lena. Dinner Saturday evening and I don't accept a no! You are going to dress up nicely and you are going to have dinner with us.   
Did you hear me? You can´t live your life thinking of her day and night, being still in love with her not knowing the truth. You need to know why she broke up with you! That was an asshole move on her side and I told Lena today she should have told Sam the truth. it was not the way to do it, but...don't get me wrong...I would have done the same.”

“What are you talking about? And by the way...she asked me not to say a word. We had a secret relationship...we were just “Friends''   
She asked me to stay silent and don´t tell anyone that we had a relationship.” Said Kara angry.

“She asked you to keep a secret?”

“Yes!”

“And you never asked yourself why?”

“No!”

“I can't...I need wine and Sam to get down from… “Babe…” Said Sam whispering.

“What?”

“Saturday at 7 p.m and look nice!” Said Alex.

“Alex?” Alex was gone and Kara was lost. 

After two glasses of white wine, Kara´s memories drifted in the past.

*****

Time Jump

College MIT 2012

Kara was an exchange student from the NCU. She won a stipend to visit (MIT) For one semester in media and politics.

Six months, that was not long though, Kara. She missed her friends back at The NCU and she hated changes but after a mouth there it was not as bad as she thought it would be. She had instantly bonded with her roommate, a girl, and an athlete. Her name was Imra Ardeen and she was very relaxed and down to earth.   
Imra Ardeen invited Kara to a party, it gave the returning team athletes a chance to reconnect after the summer break and familiarize themselves with the new team members. 

The party was going to be at the Athlete's house. The oldest member of the team shared with a few of the other seniors the big house.

Julia and Grace, two sophomores, had volunteered to show Kara and Imra how to get to the party. The four girls enjoyed their short walk, sharing jokes and stories about their lives back home. Once inside the house, Kara was filled with energy going from conversation to conversation, getting to know people, and making everyone laugh with her crazy stories about life back home. Kara didn't know what was so interesting about Midvale, but maybe it was just her being funny.

Kara was certainly enjoying the alcohol at her first college party and one time while she was going to the kitchen to get another drink she crashed into a meteorite. But not really. Because this meteorite had red-brown hair, green eyes, and just happened to be the best Fancier in the female Olympic team.   
Kara already knew who Lena Luthor was or not - but this was the closest the two of them had been since Kara saw her for the first time on campus.

“Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.” Kara put on her most charming smile, trying to ignore how intimidating Lena was up close (and also how beautiful).

“It’s ok,” Lena responded, shrugging off the apology in a much lighter tone of voice than Kara was expecting.

“I’m Kara, by the way.”

“Lena”

“I know!” Kara beamed and it caught Lena off guard. Kara was happy that the green-eyed beauty wasn’t leaving even if she hadn’t said more than five words to her.

Before either of them could say something else Leslie came out of nowhere and threw an arm around Lena´s shoulders.

“Lena you better not be scaring off the newbie. I like this one, she’s funny. Not as much as me but who is really.” Leslie pretended to flip her hair with her free arm.

“Oh no she wasn’t, I just ran into her...I´m not on any sports team...I´m...” Kara explained while Lena shoved off the kitchen.

“I’m glad you’re behaving yourself, Lena. Andrea was looking for you, by the way.” Lena nodded at that and went looking for her best friend.

“It takes Lena some time to warm up to new people but she’s a great friend. You shouldn’t call her Lee though, she hates that,” Leslie said once Lena was out of earshot trying to gauge how the encounter between the senior athletes and the new teammates had gone. Kara laughed at the jokes Leslie was telling her and they both went back to the living room.

That was the only interaction Kara and Lena had all night but Kara would catch glimpses of Lena occasionally. When she wasn’t staring at Lena, Kara played Never Have I Ever and lost horrendously playing beer pong against Leslie.   
She was having so much fun that when Imra approached Kara about leaving she told the other girl that she would stay a little while longer.

Kara must have left the blinds open because her dorm was too bright the next morning. She was slowly regaining consciousness and she realized two things: her head was pounding and she wasn't laying on her bed in her dorm. She opened her eyes and quickly remembered where she was. At some point during the party, she must have dozed off and spent the night on the couch. She stayed there for a couple of minutes and she could already feel her head getting clearer but now she was embarrassed. This was definitely not part of her plan and Kara decided to leave quickly, hoping not to run into anyone on her way out.

“I'm making breakfast if you want to eat something before you leave.” Kara freezes and turns around. Lena is leaning against the kitchen doorway, looking way better than she should after a night of drinking. Kara meekly agrees and follows her to the kitchen. Inside there's an awkward silence that only she seems to be aware of because Lena is only focused on the eggs she's scrambling.

“Are the others still sleeping?” This is the second time in less than 24 hours that Kara finds herself grasping for words, which is something that she’s not used to but that’s the effect Lena has on her - apparently.

“No, actually Gayle was sleeping by her new girlfriend Imra, and Leslie went out for a run...with... what're their names? Grace...and Julia”

Imra and Gale? Thought Kara.

Kara pulled a face at the idea of running, her slight hangover made the idea seem impossible. Lena smiles at her reaction and it helps Kara relax. 

They stay in silence while Lena serves the food.

“You seriously suck at beer pong.” Lena casually breaks the silence after they start eating.

“That was my first time playing! Not my fault Leslie plays like a pro.” Kara tries to act offended but her ridiculous smile gives her away.

“I’ll tell her that if Archery doesn’t work for her she can turn to beer pong.” Kara laughs loudly at Lena´s dry tone, happy to be interacting this way with the seemingly serious Fencer. Kara´s goofy laugh puts a big smile on Lena´s face and that sight does something to Kara.

After breakfast, Kara offers to wash the dishes but Lena tells her not to bother, that she’ll get one of her roommates to do them later.   
Without an excuse to stay longer Kara makes her way to the door, this time being escorted by Lena.

“Thanks for breakfast.” Lena opens the door and turns back towards Kara, there’s barely any space between them and Kara is painfully aware of Lena's reputation. She can’t help but think that she will have to admit she didn't care. Lena´s mouth and that’s an image she will have a hard time getting out of her brain.

“Sorry for making fun of your beer pong skills” Lena responds smirking. Kara rolls her eyes at that.

“You don’t sound sorry though,” Kara playfully narrows her eyes, “I’ll get better at it, you’ll see.” Lena raises an eyebrow at the challenge.

“We’ll play next time.”

“And what will I get when I win?” Kara says feeling reckless, trying to push Lena´s buttons.

“I haven’t decided yet.” Lena answers looking thoughtfully with her head tilted to one side. 

Kara´s mouth goes dry because that sounded like a line, a very good and effective line by the way her heartbeat picks up speed. 

Lena smiles at the momentarily speechless Kara and moves to the side to let the blonde go.

“See you around Kara.”

Kara answers with a wave and forces herself to walk away. 

Kara is probably grinning like a dork on the way back to her dorm but she doesn’t care, she’s too busy thinking about green eyes. She has a feeling she’s going to enjoy this college very much for the next five months.

Yeah, it started like this. A party and a beer pong bet. 

Kara opened her eyes again with a smile. She drunk another glass of white wine and closed her eyes again. Thinking about Lena and college...

To be continued...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy the story.
> 
> Next chapter Drifted memories - Part two coming in a few days.
> 
> I have to finish my other story first. A Surprising, beautiful, happy ending.
> 
> Thx. Vespina


	3. Drifted memories - Part two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara´s boss Mrs. Grant was an expert in love matters. Right?
> 
> Giving someone advice was one thing. But if Kara was taking advice was another story.
> 
> Kara had a melt-down at Alex´s dinner party after Kara tried with a nice gesture to get close to Lena again.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Time Jump

College MIT 2012

Kara and Lena were “Friends” as Miss Luthor called their relationship.

Kara had to read the definition in the dictionary many times to understand what a friendship is.

Definitely not what the two of them were doing in bed. 

Kara hated to keep it a secret, but she didn’t even know if she could call it a relationship. The sex was great. Lena was carrying, nice, special and she had her sense of humor that Kara loved so much. 

Each day with Lena felt like home, and not a single day since Kara met Lena was she missing her mother or sister. Witch made Alex speculate if she had a girlfriend.

Lena was spending every free minute with Kara. The athlete’s house was already speculating why Imra Ardeen moved in Lena´s room and Lena moved to the dorms. There was nothing to speculate told Gayle the other girls in the house. 

Lena and Kara were just friends and she was in a relationship with Imra. Lena was so nice to give Imra her room.

Yet, no one believed what the hell Gayle was saying. Lena had her reputation on campus. Kara could have been a potential female candidate on Lena´s blacklist.

Kara and Lena argued a lot about the fact that Lena had this bad reputation, and the blonde wasn´t believing a word of what the students were saying around campus. 

This was fake news, thought Kara. 

Kara wanted to know who had spread such bullshit about her Girlfriend…” Best friend”

Lena admitted that she was the one that spread that voice to keep people away from her as a potential love interest. Lena told Kara that she´s not there to find love or her future wife. Lena walked out of Kara´s dorm slamming the door after Kara asked her if she was a crazy person that liked to harm herself.

Calling Lena crazy was maybe a little too much for her ego, but Kara didn't care that night to say sorry to her "Friend".

*****

Lena came back to the dorm drunk that night.

“Kara.”

Kara groans, pulling her comforter up and over her head and turning her face into her pillow. 

It’s late, and she’d just been on the precipice of sleep after staying up too late working on her politics study and try not to think of Lena.

Kara likes to get her work out of the way and not stress out over learning at 6 on a Sunday morning (like a girl she knows).

“Kara”

This time, when her name is hissed, her shoulder is also shaken in insistent, short jerks. 

Kara pulled the comforter away from her face quickly, eyes snapping reluctantly open and taking a moment to focus on Lena hovering face in the dark.

"What?" Kara bites, in a whisper, her voice slicing through the night. But Lena doesn’t look bothered, her face breaking into a goofy grin as she rests her chin on Kara´s mattress.

“Hi,” Lena giggles, eyes squinting as she smiles, and Kara groans, turning her head back into her pillow.

"Go to bed, Lena."

"No," Lena whines, prodding Kara in the ribs until she squirms.

"Then leave me alone.”

Kara squints her eyes and can see Lena pouting at her, even in the darkness. Kara waits, but Lena doesn’t budge, staring at her with eyebrows drawn and eyes big and shining.

"You’re drunk!" Kara whispers, accusingly, and Lena shakes her head, and then tips slightly to the right, arm-flailing as she tries to find her balance.

“No!” Lena insists, petulantly, blinking quickly before settling her cheek against Kara´s sheet again. “Maybe.” She blinks again and then laughs.

“I’m drunk. Really drunk...”

"Which is why you should go to bed and let me sleep," Kara says, words carefully enunciated as if she’s talking to a child. Lena sighs, moving to her feet in a wobbly fashion.   
Kara gives a small nod, satisfied, and then turns to face the wall, pulling her comforter up to her shoulder. 

Kara did not come to this college to babysit someone when they’re drunk, even if Lena is ridiculously endearing when she is.

Kara does strain a bit with her hearing, just in case Lena falls or hurts herself or does something equally stupid in her drunken state.  
She doesn’t expect her bed to dip as Lena tries to lay beside her.

Kara turns abruptly, hissing. “What are you doing?" that makes Lena pause.

"Going to bed." Lena shuffles a little closer and then flops onto her side, pressed up close to Kara in the bed that’s a staple for dorm rooms.

"This is my bed, and I’m pretty sure you’re still wearing your shoes!”

"Stop being so loud!" Lena complains, burying the side of her face in Kara´s pillow. “And I am not, that’s like, a rule. Don’t pass out with your shoes on, and don’t leave the house till the booze has gone. I don’t think the booze is gone, Kara, I broke a rule,” Lena giggled, leaning closer and bumping her forehead against Kara´s cheek.

Kara closes her eyes, counts to ten, and reminds herself to breathe and not to think about how fast her heart is beating or the smell of Lena´s perfume (which her pillow is now going to smell like, oh god).

"Lena"

"Your rules are stupid, though, I mean, everyone knows love is stupid, I mean, it’s stupid and it’s a waste of time and...”

Kara put her hand over Lena´s mouth.

"Please stop saying love is a waste of time. What is wrong with you? Why are we together, are we, do you have feelings for me or is it just a sex thing? I know you never slept with anyone before me. I was your first and you were my first. So don´t talk bullshit, Lena. I know you better than you think!"

"I...

"Go to bed, Lena." Kara pauses. "In your bed.”

"But I like it here." Lena wiggles around until she’s working her way under the covers and Kara freezes as their legs brush. 

Kara didn’t even realize Lena had taken off her pants and oh god, she’s going to pass out. “You’re so warm and cozy. You always keep me safe and I feel like I´m home.” Lena drapes her arm lazily over Kara´s waist.

"Lena." Kara´s voice comes out strangled and high, mainly because Lena chooses that moment to nuzzle against Kara´s neck.

"You are the best, nicest, cuddliest, warmest, best, sexiest woman ever and I love you." Lena sighs, sleepily, and Kara freezes again.

Does she love me?

"You love me?" Kara asks before she can stop herself, but Lena hums in agreement.

"So in love...” Lena says around a yawn, slotting their knees together. "Night, my love." 

Lena passed out naked in Kara´s bed. That made it hard for Kara to sleep that night.

The next morning Kara let Lena sleep leaving a note for her:

“I don´t like to play games, Lena.  
Every word that I say is coming straight from the heart.  
So if you try to lay in these arms I'm leaving the door open.  
When you feel the way I feel and you want me as I want you every day.  
Tell me that you're coming through your insecurities.  
Don't keep me waitin'. There's so much love we could be making.  
I'm talking about kissing, cuddling, and yes, make love, let's jump in.  
I love you too, Kara.”

From that moment Kara lost it. Lena Luthor was in love with her and she had major Latinum classes in high school and when someone is drunk Kara would say; Vino Veritas. 

Drunk people tell always the truth when they are drunk. Lena meant every word she said last night.

Well, maybe Lena meant every word, but from that night and after what Kara wrote, Lena lost it completely. 

Everything changed between them like a cold storm, which swept Kara into an abyss of emotions. 

*****

Kara came back from her old memories. Eyes wide open. A drunk Ken entered Kara´s apartment with barbie holding Mike up on her shoulders.

It was 10 p.m. Kara was drifted for hours in her old memories.

“Ka...Kara...Kara...you look so beautiful…” Said Mike.

“You look Mike Tyson broke your nose!” 

“Hi, Kara.” Said Eve.

“Hi! What happened?” Asked Kara.

“He fought with Winn, Brainy, and James...guess what? James won.” Said Eve.

“Let me help you...his bedroom is that way.” Said Kara.

“Thank you.” Said Eve smiling at Kara.

Kara and Eve laid Mike on his bed. Both walked out. Kara offered Eve tea to come down from the horrible date.

“Here, drink this you look pale. So, what happened besides that he fought with my work team?” Asked Kara.

“He was saying horrible things about Nia...and you! Brainy punched him in the face. Winn and James were trying to separate them. Mike punched Winn´s and James lost it from that moment on. He sucks, Kara.”

“I probably have a hint what he said to Nia. Eve, you are an intelligent woman and you are sweet and sexy.   
You can have every man you desire.   
Mike is not a nice guy.” Kara was talking to Eve calm and soft. She didn’t even realize that Eve came dangerously close to her lips.

“Kara did someone ever told you that you are very, very beautiful and kind.” Said Eve.

“Excuse me?” Red alarm. Why is she so close to my face. Do I have a pimple on my nose? asked Kara herself.

“Does eyes…

“Umm…

“Does lips…

“Yep…" Kara´s face moved to the right before Eve could land her lips on hers.

“Does…

“Okay...It was nice to see you, but I think you should go home. I call a taxi.”

Eve´s hands were resting on Kara’s leg dangerously high on her personal hot spot. 

“Do you know how often I look at you, and I did imagine you...?”

“No...Nope!” What the hell was going on, thought Kara sliding slowly Eve´s hand away.

…”

“Very, very often.”

“Eve, stop it! What is this candid camera? The joke is over. Enough!!!” Said Kara crossing her arms.

“I´m sorry, Kara. I don´t know what came over me.”

“You should go home, it´s late!” Kara opens the front door.

“Yes, you are right...sleep well...”

“You too. send me a text message when you are at home. Don´t come late to work...”

“See you tomorrow morning.”

Kara closed the door and scrolled her head. 

This was one of these situations where she wished she was sleeping and it was just a fucking nightmare. Now she could add Eve Teschmarker to the red list. 

It was a little list of people that Kara promised herself not to smile, hug, have sex with, or shake hands too long. Lena and Eve were right now on top of her list.

Kara had also a new list in her red alert memo. The asshole Jerk list. Mike was the number one on her list right next on top of her list Mr. Snapper.   
She could tell already Mike would stay on that list in eternity.

Whatever Mike said to Nia was something homophobic and hurtful.

If Mike wanted to play dirty. It was his problem. 

The bullshit he was telling earlier - that he didn’t know she was gay was enough for Kara to know that this was going to end with his exit from her apartment tomorrow morning.

Kara went to bed that night thinking she had to talk with Nia and Brainy. She could only imagine what happens at the Karaoke bar.

The next day Kara went to work, but before she did that - she left a note for Mike. "Get out of my apartment or I call the police."

*****

“Good morning, Kara.” Said Nia.

“Good morning, Nia.”

“You probably already heard what happened?”

“Half of it. What did that asshole say about you?”

“About me being still a man and not a woman and Brainy is…

“Don´t... I just had breakfast...I want to go back into my apartment and punch his face so badly."

“James and Winn are pissed. Brainy is angry and the employees are gossiping.”

“About you? I can´t believe...who? I swear I punch him/her into space...”

“No! You and Eve Teschmarker.” Said Nia.

“What?”

“Someone heard Eve saying that she´s in love with you.”

“Umm…

“Kara?”

“Give me just one second.”

…”

“Kara?”

“Can…I...I need...

…”

“Miss Danvers, in my office, now!” Kara could hear Cat Grant screaming.

“I forget to tell you...she´s in bad mood.” Said Nia.

“Thank you.” Kara walked to Mrs. Grant’s office.

“Mrs. Grant, can I help you?”

“Yes. A little bird sang to me that you and Miss Luthor were a couple in the past. Is that the truth?”

“We were friends. Your little bird was wrong.” Said Kara smiling.

“Perfect! I want an exclusive. I want to know why she´s here in Nacional City. I know she´s working for your mother. Hop-Hop, get me that exclusive.”

“Mrs. Grant. I can´t!”

“You can´t? You are the best reporter in Nacional City...Oh, I see just friends? Did she break your little heart? Oh, wait I´m intrigued...you are still in love with her.” Asked Cat.

“Noooo…

“Sit down!”

This was going to be one of Mrs. Grant’s philosophical speeches. 

Kara could have slapped her face for telling her boss that she was friends with Lena Luthor. 

Who is she kidding every idiot could see that she was heartbroken and still in love with Lena. 

Cat Grant was married four times and she was an expert in love matters. Was she? thought Kara.

“Kara...Kara...Kara…my little Kara...

“Yes?”

“Shh...You need to jump in cold waters and learn how to swim in deep seawater.   
If you stay near the coast and you swim up and down without finding the way to swim furder, sooner or later you get bored.  
Look at me, Kara. You need to focus on what you want.   
Do you want to be that awkward young woman I meet a few years ago or the smart reporter that everyone admires and loves?”

“I…

“Shh...I don´t know what happened between you and Miss Luthor, but she´s a one... you are a four, maybe a three...you need to be equal if you want her back.”

“Back?”

“Shh...every fiber of your body wants her. Look at you...a lost cute puppy, the slave of your own feelings.   
Control your feelings, control your cravings, control your love for her and start to be smart.   
You want Miss Luthor, let her want you more.   
Don´t show her you are melted butter in her proximity. Kara, you think because I sit every day in my office annoyed and I don´t hear your work colleagues talking.   
You are desired, you are respected, you are nice, intelligent and everyone loves you.   
A lot of people would kill to date you. God, if I were 20 years younger and a lesbian I would ask you out, top you and wreck you, but that´s not the point.   
Did you understand what I said, Kara?”

Kara was lost imagining Cat Grant - date her, top her, wreck her and maybe also step on her when she was finished. "Yes, Ma´am."

"Kara, did you understand?"

“Umm...Yes, Mrs. Grant.”

“And why are you still sitting here watching me talk?”

“Exclusive?”

“No! I give the assignment to Nia Nal.”

“Really?”

“Yes! You get the girl and Nia Nal the exclusive.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Grant.”

“Hop, hop...don´t you have work to do?”

“Yes!” Kara walked out of Mrs. Grant´s office smiling.

…”

“Miss Nal, in my office!” Screamed Cat Grant.

“Me?”

“Go, before she starts to screaming lauder.” Said Kara smiling.

*****

It was Saturday evening. Kara had two hours to get ready for her dinner with her family and Lena. Wow, this was going to be a fucking nightmare.

Her head was exploding, but she would not freaking out. Cat Grant was right she had to stay calm and be in control of her feelings for Lena.

Kara promised not to be too hard on Lena. She would try to be, calm and just smile. Lena loved when she smiled.

Showtime.

Kara was standing in front of Alex´s and Sam´s house. She wanted to vomit. She was stressed. She took a deep breath and pressed the button to the doorbell.

The door opened.

“Mom?”

“Hi, sweetheart.” Said Eliza hugging Kara.

“What are you doing here?”

“Alex invited me to dinner with the entire medical staff. Nice to see you too, my grampy daughter...”

“Is this a family dinner where I will blackout while you are all talking about Illness and medical stuff?”

“Come in, sweetheart,” Eliza rolled with her eyes.

“God, I hate it already…

The living room was transformed into a party room with music and a big buffet...this was not a family dinner, this was a welcome party for Lena and Kelly. Brilliant thought Kara.

Sam saw Kara and walked to her. 

“Hi, welcome...Kara, this is Dr. Shila Shanty. She´s Kelly´s Girlfriend and she will soon work at the clinic.”

That´s why Sam was smiling like an idiot. Kelly had a girlfriend. Potential enemy eliminated. Thought Kara

“Oh wow...transforming slowly the clinic into a lesbian paradise?”

Dr. Shanty walked to Kelly and rolled her eyes thinking that Alex´s sister was a homophobe.

“Kara everything okay?” Sam looked at her very intensely. Thinking what the hell was that?

“Sure!”

“Are you hungry?”

“Not really!”

“Are you sick?”

“No, why?”

“You never refuse food.”

“Then maybe I´m sick! I should go home again. I don´t want to be the cause of a bad mood epidemy”

“Stop!” Said Sam. “Where do you think you are going? Why don't you say hello to your sister and Ruby."

“I…

“Move your ass, Kara! Don't even think about leaving before you don't say hello to your sister and Ruby and by the way, If you look for Lena, she's outside...not that way, Kara...Veranda." Said Sam crossing her arms.

“Oh, that way…???"

“Not funny!" Sam grabbed Kara´s arm and dragged her into the living room.

After Kara said hello to her sister and she hugged Ruby a hundred times, she decided to have a glass of white wine and took a bottle of red wine walking outside the living room approaching the veranda. Kara saw Lena sitting alone watching at the stars.

“That's Sirius, the brightest star in our constellation.”

“I know you told me that a long time ago.”

“Red wine?”

“No, thank you. I don´t drink anymore. Just water, coffee, or tea.”

“Should I make you a coffee?”

“I´m good, thank you for asking.” Lena smiled.

“Can I sit next to you?”

“Yes...please, that would be nice.” Lena smiled.

Minutes of silence no one said a word. Both just sat there in silence.

Kara had enough of silence. Years of silence. It felt like an eternity. Maybe she was dead and this was her paradise, but it felt like hell. Every cell in her was burning.

"What about your boyfriend? Asked Lena.

Kara stiffened. 

“Mike, are you talking about...he isn’t my...”

“No, don’t tell me. I’m sorry I asked. Your love life isn’t my business.”

“My love life is everyone’s business, apparently...since you moved here...” Kara wanted to hold Lena´s hand softly and tell her there was no one in her life that could ever make her feel the way Lena could make her feel.

Kara touching Lena´s hand made Lena chuckle and she stiffened all over again. Lena pushed Kara away. 

Great. What had Kara done wrong this time?

“Mike, sorry Mr. Pig, moved out finally,” Kara said, looking anywhere but at Lena. “Lena I´m not into guys you know that!" Said Kara.

Lena snorted. “I’ll believe it when I see it.”

The corners of Kara´s mouth twitched. “Doubting Lena.” A pause, then, “Would you like a cup of coffee, but not here, in my apartment?”

“No wonder Mike left you!” Lena added.

"What does that mean? You think I'm capable of doing what you...

"Yeah...I thought you didn't come here to say hello but to chat about...feelings and...

"What? Did you want to use the word love? That´s...I need to get out of here before I explode...I promised myself I would never...

"Kara, I´m sorry...

"No! You don´t get to say I´m sorry like that! You broke me!!! Fuck you, Lena!” Said Kara angry and out of control.

"Kara, can you please come down. Please don´t scream at me..."Lena was crying and shaking.

..."

"Hey, what the hell is going on here?" Asked Alex.

"Nothing! I´m going home, the party is over for me...

"Kara wait!" Said Alex.

Sam was holding Lena in her arms.

"Kara, you don´t understand…” Said Alex running after her sister.

"Is this my fault! Did I do something to break her heart? I loved her, I love her and she's just mute, paralyzed.   
She´s here, but it's like her soul is gone. Lena's body is here, but her soul is not sparkling anymore.   
She looks scared and sad. That's not my Lena. For one second I thought I had her back, she smiled at me in the clinic, and then puff she was gone.   
I was trying to hold her hand and she pushed me away like I was hurting her...I wanted to tell her that I still love her and I wanted to talk to her!"

"You should go home! I call you tomorrow morning."

"Alex, what is going on with her?"

"Let's walk to your car and stop screaming! You are scaring the whole stuff and your family."

"Okay," Kara said goodnight to her mother and Ruby and said sorry. Alex and Kara walked outside.

"Kara, Lena had a difficult time and she´s still dealing with her past. She loves you too and she´s here because of you, but you need to be patient.   
Sam and I asked her to be here and stay. She needs friends and a family. I didn't know she was your Lena. She broke up with you because you were in danger...

"In danger?”

“Kara where are you going?”

“I need to talk to her!”

"Not tonight, Kara. You screamed at her and she was shaking. Let her come down. Sam is with her and she is the only one right now that can help her. Not someone that´s clearly out of her damn mind. I never heard you scream at someone like that and for sure not at someone you love."

"I'm an asshole...why...she...

"Sit down for a minute...can you drive?"

"I had one glass of wine...

"I didn't mean the wine, Kara. You are in shock."

"Oh, really? I screamed at her and you telling me she broke up with me because I was in danger is something that I didn’t expect to hear.   
She wanted to protect me and she played the asshole card to push me away? What kind of - in danger are we talking about?" Asked Kara.

“The one where you could have been killed.” Said Alex.

"Killed?"

"Yes!"

"I have to go!" Kara was in tears.

"Kara?"

"I call you tomorrow morning."

"Please, don´t do something stupid!"

"I promise you. I call you tomorrow."

Kara sat in her car...Killed? Was her family the mafia for real or what the hell happened when Lena broke up with her? 

Eliza was right she should have read all those articled about Lena´s family.

Kara wrote Nia a text message if she could come over to her apartment. She needs to talk to someone that was about to do an exclusive with Lena. Nia had for sure Infos about Lena´s past life and her family.

NN: Yes, of course! wrote Nia.

KD: Thank you, Nia. I´ll be there in 10 minutes."

NN: Okay."

To be continued…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kara will find out what happened to Lena. She will find out why she broke up with her.
> 
> Nia and Kara decided to research Lena´s past life and her family history, and it will break Kara´s heart all over again.
> 
> Chapter 4 will be dark. 
> 
> Well, Kara is Miss Sunshine. There must be a way to let Lena´s soul shine again. 
> 
> Thx for reading Verspina.


	4. On the trail of the truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara will find out the disturbing truth about Lena from the most unexpected person. Every piece of information Kara will need to take down a criminal organization and a hitman sent to kill Lena.
> 
> Kara will need to be smart and strong to bring down the last survivor of an evil circle that Lex Luthor was covering up for his own benefits.
> 
> Will, Kara be strong enough for what she is about to find out?
> 
> "Well, let´s find out."

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Kara arrived at Nina's house. Her best friend knew that dinner by Alex's was a disaster. The past week at Catco Magazine hadn't gone any better for the blonde reporter. 

From the moment Kara saw Lena, it became difficult for her to think clearly and the news that Eve Teschmarker had fallen in love with her, was also making Kara headaches. 

There was someone in heaven who hated Kara, she told herself. 

Nia told Kara it was impossible - she was an Angel sent from heaven.

Kara refused to take Cat Grant´s assignment, but for Nia - it was a step forward in her career. Nia was glad that Kara was her mentor since she started to work for Cat Grant.

This was a big promotion for the young journalist. She was writing columns about fashion and lifestyle but her main focus was to become like Kara Danvers. The Pulitzer prize-winning female reporter, who became her mentor, part-time mother, and friend. An Interview with Lena Luthor would mean a lot for Nia Nal and a big step for her reporter cheer. 

There was a small question mark on Nia Nal's face. Could she interview Lena Luthor, her surgeon?

Kara told Nia to ask Lena if she could. she had to reassure Lena that she was addressing Lena´s medical cheer. The question´s that Cat Grant was interested in the most was private nature. Kara knew exactly that Lena would never give Nia a chance to write about her private life.

Lena was a very discreet person. Kara said to Nia.

"Nia, did you do some research on Lena's past life?" Kara asked.

“Besides the nonsense on the tabloids. Zero. But Winn did find out something interesting. He brought this report for you...here, you can read it.” Said Nia.

“Is this legal?”

“Of course!” Said Nia.

“This is a classified police report from 2013. The year Lex Luthor committed suicide...Wait, Lillian Luthor killed two of his business partners? Are you sure he gave you this report and it's legal?”

“Yes! Winn told me he found it on the internet. Lillian killed Sam Lockwood and Edge Morgan. One business partner survived. His name is Maxwell Lord.”

“I´m I reading right? Lillian Luthor walked into her son’s office and she killed two of Lex´s business partners, one survived and after she shot at them, an hour later she walked to the police station to confess her crimes?”

“Yes! She also confessed she killed her husband Lionel Luthor in 2011 accusing him of horrible crimes. Lillian Luthor didn’t even want a lawyer or a trial.   
She was brought to Shelly Island a few hours later. It's A maximum-security prison here in Nacional City.”

“Lillian is on Shelly Island? Good to know. So, Lena´s mother is in prison for seven years now. But why? Why did Lex Luthor kill himself?”

"A tragedy wrote the Daily Planet. He killed himself a few weeks after his mother went to jail." Said Nia.

"Lena always told me Lillian was cold, distant to her. She loved Lex more than her. So, why should Dr. Lillian Luthor, a brilliant doctor, and scientist, kill two business partners of her son...nearly three partners, of Lex Luthor? And why did Lex kill himself?" Said Kara.

"What do you know about Lex Luthor, Kara?"

"Lena told me he was a genius and he loved her. They had a good relationship. Lex is much older than Lena. He called her once a week. Lena was always happy when her brother called her, but one time she had a huge fight with him on the phone.   
I could hear Lena cry all night after that call ... I didn't ask her what happened. Her attitude changed after she had that fight with her brother, and two months later I left college with a broken heart after Lena broke with me up with a simple and clear, text message...It was strange she came back from Metropolis and I couldn't even talk to her. She was hiding in the Athletes' house. " Said, Kara.

"You told me when you came here tonight, that she broke up with you because you were in danger. What if her brother found out her sister is a lesbian? I mean, Mr. Lionel Luthor was openly known for being against diversity. He was known as a homophobe and many other things. He was also known to be a psychopath. Let's say Lena´s father was crazy. What if his son was like him? '' Said, Nia.

"Umm ... so, you think Lex told Lena to break up with me or he would have killed me?"

"Killed you?" Nia is scared.

"That's what Alex told me. The kind of danger I was in - was - break up or die." Said Kara.

"Fuck!"

"I need to find out what happened. There is only one person that can give me an answer."

"Who?"

"Lillian Luthor."

"What?"

"Yes. I will make an appointment in prison and I hope I can visit her and Lena´s mother. If Lillian Luthor knew about Lena´s relationship with me. She will remember who I am. " Said, Kara.

"I hope she wants to see you."

"I hope too. Nia, in the meantime I have to ask you a favor. You need to find out what the hell is going on with Eve Teachmarker. I have a feeling something is wrong with her. Did you know she was bi?"

"Eve Teschmarker is a Sapio, Kara!"

"What´s that?"

"Sapiosexuality means that a person is sexually attracted to highly intelligent people, so much so that they consider it to be the most important trait in a partner. It is a relatively new word that has become more popular in recent years. Both LGBTQ + people and heterosexual people may identify as sapiosexual. " Said, Nia.

"And why the hell does she date Mike? I mean...what?"

"That's the big mystery. You know what? You are doing some investigations about Lena´s past. Your team is going to make some intern investigations about Mike Matthews and Eve Teschmacher"

"Does Brainy talk to Mike again?"

"No! He´s so sweet Kara. He calls me all the time and he´s...god, I love him so much..."

"Wow, I can hear...What about James and Winn?"

"No!"

"Okay. You need to tell the guys to be calm and James should apologize to him. I want to know about Mike’s past. Everything they can find out. Don´t you find it very strange that no one knows about his family or his past life? What does Brainy know about him? "

"Not much. They became friends when he started to work for Catco Magazine." Said Nia.

"What if ...

"Kara?"

"Siobahn and Mike knew each other, but she never told me where she did meet him."

"Siobahn left Catco Magazine. You don't have any contact with your ex-girlfriend?"

"No! She changed her phone number and she moved from her old apartment. I don´t know where she lives now." Said, Kara.

“The last information I have about Siobahn is that she works for Veronica Sinclair...!”

“That name sounds familiar to me.”

"Okay, don't worry Kara. We find out who spreads gossip in the office. Your face tells me you have a hint that this has something to do with Lena."

"Maybe ...I´m not sure, but if I think better Siobahn knew a lot about Lena´s life. More than I did know. I never asked myself why, but right now I have this bad feeling that something shady is going on.” Said Kara.

“Kara?”

“What?”

“Mike and Eve started to work at Catco Magazine in the same week. Siobahn left Catco Magazine... also in the same week” Said, Nia.

“I...Yes, I think they did...” Said Kara.

Red Alarm. Kara was having a panic attack.

“Don't panic! We find out what's going on.”

“Do I look like I'm panicking?” Kara couldn't think clearly.

“Yes! Drink this...God, Kara you look like you are about to faint…

“Nia, what if Siobahn... faked a relationship with me... and she wanted information about my past... relationship with Lena. What if I brought Lena in danger...I…

“Breath...I call your sister. You are having a panic attack...”

“No!!! You leave Alex and my family out of this mess! Tell the guys I don't want to put in danger my family and...Nia, I think I should investigate this mess alone. I don't want you or my best friends to get killed.”

“Oh, no! You are not going to do this alone miss Pulitzer prize winner! I know you are tuff but this is big! You are involved romantically with Lena Luthor. You can think straight when it comes to that woman. If you find out something shady you will need us. Did I made myself clear, Miss Danvers?”

“Yeah...chill, mom...I´m older than you...”

“Kara, we are talking about - Lex Luthor wanted to kill you. We are talking about a mother that didn’t even love her daughter and killed two of Lex Luthors business partner and Lex Luthor committing suicide. So, you are going to need a lot of help to find out the truth. Your team is not going to let you deal with this alone. We will find out the truth and then you are going to tell Lena you know the truth. I saw the way she looked at you when I had my medical appointment, and that was love. She loves you, Kara.”

“Thank you, Nia” Kara hugged her best friend.

“Do you want to stay here, you can sleep on the couch.”

“No, thank you. I drive back home... besides that - I have already a love interest at Catco. I don´t want to drag you into the gossip office.”

“Shut up!! See you on Monday.”

“I send you a text message when I'm home.”

“Do that!”

*****

Kara arrived in her apartment and sent a message to Nia as soon she closed the door. Eliza was sitting on her couch waiting for Kara to come home. She was worried and left the welcome party telling Alex she was Leaving to talk to her sister.

“Mom?”

“Hi, honey. Are you feeling better?”

“I´m...I´m sorry if I did scare you.”

“Sit next to me Kara. We have to talk.”

“I…

“Just sit. I´m not going to talk about what happened tonight at your sister's house.”

“Okay”

“So, where did you go after you left the party?”

“Nia´s house.”

“Yeah! She's A very good friend. Are you feeling better?”

“A little bit better.”

“Sweetheart I know you have a difficult time right now. I like Lena. She's an accurate scientist, a brilliant doctor, and one of the best surgeons in the world.   
I admire her work and how good she is with her patients. Did I ever tell you that I worked with her mother at the Metropolis General hospital?”

“No!”

“Well, Alex and you were babies when I worked with her. Lillian is brilliant and Lena is a lot like her. She was a good friend of mine.”

“Do you know she's in prison?”

“Yes!”

“Why?”

“She killed two of Lex´s business partners. I don´t know the details, Kara.”

“Do you have contact with her?” Asked Kara curious.

“No! The last two times I spoke to her was when I had the world medical conference. That was in 2012. Lillian called me to keep you away from her daughter. I was perplexed. I didn’t even know that Lena was into girls, and what would have been the chance you could meet her at (MIT)?”

“Lillian wanted to warn you?”

“Yes!”

“What did she say exactly?”

“Lillian told me that it would be better for you to forget Lena. She called me in 2012 one month after you left Midvale for the (MIT) semester. She was home. I should try to keep you forget Lena. When you left (MIT) Lillian called me again one night and she told me that three girls came to visit her in her medical office and told her that something bad happened to Lena when Lillian was in Europe. Two months later in February of 2013, I read in the newspapers that Lillian was arrested. Three weeks later Lex committed suicide and Lena left Metropolis, the poor girl was followed by reporters and paparazzi. She flew to Europe with an unknown destination. Two weeks ago she moved here to National City asking me if she could work for me. She told me how sorry she was how she broke things with you.”

“You said, yes.”

“Of course Kara. When Lena was born I held her in my arms. She's like a daughter to me and Lillian is in jail. When I told you to read the Luthors history, it was just to keep you away from Lena. I was scared that you could be hurt. If your best friend warns you that your daughter is in danger what would you do? I was glad when you found a new love interest in Siobahn…

“This case It's bigger than I thought. It involves this family and I´m going to find out what happened to Lena.”

“Kara, that's not a good idea. Lena is here, let the past go. Try to reconnect with Lena and not make it worse for her. She loves you and she told me she would like to talk with you in private, but only if you can be calm. She's still doing therapy, but she's feeling a lot better. Her work at the clinic is not suffering from her trauma. She was shocked tonight. Hearing you scream at her, she had a little panic attack. She never heard you scream or flip out like that…

“Mom...what kind of therapy session is Lena doing? Family trauma or something else?”

“I…Kelly is taking care of her. She's doing therapy by doctor Shila Shanty in the next weeks. You can google what kind of therapy she's having by Dr. Shanty.” Said Eliza.

“What?”

“If you want to know you need to ask Lena.”

“Oh, that sounds bad. No one is willing to give me an answer…

“Kara, you promise me not to do something stupid or childish. Be patient with Lena! If you want to be with her together again you need to be strong, for the both of you.”

“That sounds like you are all worried about what I will find out...Mom, what happened to Lena?”

“Ask Lillian! She´s the only one that knows the whole truth. Lena doesn’t remember everything that happened. She woke up in the Metropolis General Hospital. If you want an answer, you need to ask Lillian Luthor.”

“Lena woke up in the hospital in Metropolis, when? What? This is...”

“She visits her brother in Metropolis for a weekend. That was the year where Lena was in the Olympic team 2012 and Lex asked her to meet one of the members of the Olympic commité.”

“When she came back from Metropolis she didn’t want to see me anymore. She moved into the Athlete's house again and Imra came back to the dorms. The week after she broke up with me on the phone and I left the (MIT). She was a ghost. She did break up via text message, sending me a picture of her new love interest Jack. Andrea told me to stay away from her or she would call the police. Lena had zero interest in me it was just sex and...”

“You never told me that...!”

“She didn’t want to see me. Gayle and Leslie didn’t want to let me in the house and Imra Ardeen avoided me for some reason.   
Leslie lives in Nacional City. Imra and Gayle are living in Metropolis together. Andrea Rojas moved her company here. I have to talk to them.”

“Let the girls out of this mess, Kara. You don´t know why they played after Lena´s rules.”

“So, my only option is Lillian Luthor? The cold mother that Lena did...”

“Yes!”

“That´s…

“Lillian cares about you. She´s not the cold mother you know from Lena’s stories. It was just a facade to keep Lena safe. Lionel was not a good father, not a good man and Lex was not a good brother to Lena. Whatever Lena told you is just a big facade that Lillian did build up to protect Lena.   
Lionel was a pig and Lex was a manipulative and jealous brother. Lena is still figuring out how she could be so blind to think that Lillian didn't love her.”

“Lex did not commit suicide? Am I right?”

“I don´t know, Kara. Lillian never takes one of my phone called and despite that, she doesn´t want me to visit her...”

“Someone? Lillian paid someone to kill her son!”

“I don't know. I can imagine she killed Lex. She loved her son! He was a sick boy, but she loved him...”

“Mom...you are not going to say a word to anyone about this…not even Alex!” Said Kara.

“Alex knows, Kara. Sam told her to stay silent to protect Lena. Both were shocked when they found out you were Kara from Lena´s past. Alex didn't know...She called me...she told me she felt like she was braying you. Alex loves Sam and Lena is like a sister to her wife...you need to understand Alex's point of view...”

“I don't even know the half of it, probably, but I understand Alex and Sam. I´m not mad at them...please tell Alex and Sam that I´m not made. If they were protecting Lena. I´m okay. I don´t want to put my sister and her wife in a difficult position. I´m okay, mom.”

“I tell them. By the way, Mike was here. He told me that he left something in his guest room. That man is...Jesus...he needs therapy. He has this nice face but deep inside his a Serial killer...”

“He was here? Did he say something to you?”

“Not really. He told me to tell you to thank you, and that's all... He left the apartment 20 minutes before you came home. Eve was with Mike together...She´s scary too...”

“Mom, I want you to sleep here tonight.”

“Why?”

“Just because I asked you to.”

“Okay.” Said Eliza scared.

*****

One week later Kara had an appointment at Shelly Island maximum-security prison. Lillian accepted to meet Kara Danvers.   
When Kara walked into the prison she was terrified and nervous to meet Lena´s mother. The woman that Lena described as cold and a bad mother.

Kara sat on a chair and was waiting for Lena's mother to appear. Kara was holding a book and English orange chocolate. She thought maybe Lillian would have liked something sweet and a good book to read that Eliza got for the older Luthor woman.

Lillian walked in - in chains on her feet and hands. As she was a killer. (Well, she was a killer...thought Kara) Her facial expression was hiding a little tired smile. Her hairs were gray, not like Kara expected her to look. Seven years in such a place can change people but Lillian looked pale, very thin, and ill like she was dying.”

“Miss Danvers. Nice to see you again.” Said Lillian.

“Mrs. Luthor…we never...

“I met you a few times when you were a baby.” Said Lillian smiling.

“Oh... these are presents for you. Eliza gave me this book and does…

“Lena´s favorite chocolate candy from the UK...” Lena said, smiling holding the box in her hands.

"Yes...I´m sorry but they opened the box to see if...”

“It's okay. They do their job, Kara. The prison guardians are very nice to me and I work in the medical bay two times a week. I'm okay. Tell your mother I´m fine…

“Mrs. Luthor you don´t look fine to me…

“I have cancer, Kara. I want you to promise me you will not tell Eliza that I´m dying...”

“I…

“If you want pieces of information? You need to promise me.” 

..."

“I promise you. So, you know why I'm here?”

“Yes, of course, Kara. It's because of Lena. From the moment you came into Lena´s life, I´m waiting for you to visit me. I was patient, but you are finally here.   
That means Lena is back in your life and you two still love each other...That means you two are in danger again...and I'm here to give you all the information you need.”

“What do you mean?”

“One of Lex’s past partners is still free and someone wants to take revenge for Lex´s death. Lord wants to know where the secrets files are and another person wants to have all Lena´s money. My daughter, Lena, inherited everything after Lionel and Lex died. The whole Luthor imperium, the companies, houses...billions and millions of dollars and more. Lena is in danger, but I send people to protect her...and you. You need to find Nasthasia Luthor. She´s Lex and Lena's nice. She's much older than Lena. Her family name is Nasty Luthor. Nasty is a psychopath and she was very addicted to my son. She wants to eliminate Lena for the money.   
Now that you know this part, we get to the worst part of the story in a second.”

“Worst? I thought this was the worst part...Lena´s niece wants to kill the woman I love and you send someone to protect her? What can be worse than that? Oh, I know...Lena´s death!!!”

“Been repped by Lex´s drunk business partners!" Said Lillian screaming.

"What?" Kara became pale and could feel her heart been ripped out of her chest.

"My son permitted them to do it. He didn’t even care if they would have killed her. Our driver Albert drove Lena to the hospital. I was in Europe at a medical conference at the time. When I came back Lena's friends called me to tell me what happened to Lena. Thank God, Andrea Rojas was in Metropolis that weekend. The driver called Miss Rojas to tell her Lena was in the hospital. He couldn’t find my son. Of course not! He took his private jet with his friends, for a little private holiday...Kara are you okay...Kara...Breath...in and out...in and out...You still have panic attacks?”

“Yes!”

“Kara breath...That's it... close your eyes and think of your father. Jeremiah always knew how to make you feel better...and now think of Eliza´s apple pie when you used to be all together in Midvale. The wind, the sun, and Alex trying to catch you when you had more cake than her...that's it...count till three, and open slowly your eyes…

1...2...3...

"Good...

“Thank you...how do you know…

“I was often in Midvale when Lena was a newborn. I needed a time out from Metropolis and Lionel and Lex. You were two eyes old and Alex was three. You can't remember but I read Alex, you, and Lena's stories before bed. You three slept in one bedroom. It's like you two were meant to be together...I'm sorry you had to hear what happened to Lena. Kara, I´m not a saint. I was a bad mother to Lena to protect her and make her strong...I killed those men and I wished Lord was also dead. I have no regrets…The only regret I have is that I should have run away with Lena when she was a baby. When Lex tried to kill her with a cushion when she was a newborn.”

“What?”

“Yes, he was jealous of her. I gave all my attention to Lena, she was my everything. Lionel told me not to make Lex feel less loved or I will pay the consequences. From that moment on Lena had nannies and bodyguards 24/7. When she was 11 years old I put her into a boarding school to protect her. She was not safe at the Luthor Mansion around Lex. Everything I did was to protect her not to harm her. I talked to her many times and she knows the truth and that's all that matters to me. I know she loves me and I love her.”

“What about Lex. Did he commit suicide?”

“No, that was someone that was in love with my son. Someone that took all files Lex had in his safe. Lex used this woman, he told her he would marry her and she could be a Luthor. Have everything she desires. This woman is the one that is hiding the files that Lord wants. Max´s hiding somewhere and he did send someone to find the files. Coming back to my Grand Niece Nasty. She did send a killer to Kill Lena. Kara, Miss Teschmarker need you help.” Said Lillian.

“Eve Teschmacher is the woman that saw what happened to Lena?”

“She´s the one that killed Lex.”

“Fuck!”

“Word please!”

“I´m sorry.”

“Max Lord was seeing a young woman at the time he was spying on Lena. Her name was Veronica Sinclair. Lena knows her from boarding school. Both never had a good relationship. Veronica was one of those mean girls, but one day she left Mont Helena because her father was bank rubbed. He was always obsessed with Lena since she was a teenager. I told Lex more than one time that he was too old to be near Lena when he did visit my son at the mansion. I hated him. He had that face a mother is terrified of. When Lord was in the house. I ordered Mercy Graves and her twin brother not to let Lena from their sign until Max left the house.”

“Is Veronica working for Lord?”

“I think Veronica shares Lena´s nightmare. I think Veronica has Stockholm syndrome. Some women tend to stay together with their abusers. She was younger than Lena when she did meet Maxwell Lord. Lena was twenty when it happened. Veronica sixteen.” Said Lillian.

“This is a nightmare. Lena…how many...how many...

“Kara look at me. If you start to cry we are not on the same page. You need to be strong. I know you are mad, sad, powerless and you would like to punch that wall right now, but I need you to be strong. I told Lena she should never come back to America and start a new life, but apparently, she´s like me - star burn and she loves you.  
As soon she landed in Nacional City. Maxell Lord was the first to have the news. He’s not only looking for those files, but he's a predator. He wants Lena dead or alive.   
So, I can´t be out there and help her. What are you going to do? Cry or find a way to put that pig in jail? I know you are an ace reporter, Kara.   
If you panic or you make one mistake she's going to pay the price.”

“I need to talk to Eve Teschmarker.”

“I told her to spy one Mike. He is one of Nasty´s employees, He the hint man Nasty did send to kill Lena.   
Your ex-girlfriend Siobahn is working for Veronica Sinclair. If you find out where Veronica’s dark and shady circles are, you also find Lord.   
Eve Tescmarker is about to resign from Catco Magazine. Lena is looking for a secretary. Eve will tell Lena she´s in danger.”

“She will be there to protect Lena, I assume...”

“Yes and Kelly Olsen an ex-soldier like her brother James. Eve was in love with Lex´s but she was also one of his bodyguards. Eve is a killer machine. My daughter will give Eve the job after Eve tells her that Lord knows she is in Nacional City again. Eve gave a good friend of Lena the files. Until everything is not over Jack will keep them in secret.”

"Jack?"

"Yes, Kara. He´s just a friend."

"What about Eve?"

"What do you mean?"

“Oh, wow...she tried to kiss me...what's that order?”

“No...she loves everybody that has an IQ higher than 150. That means she likes you a lot...also Lena. You two don't have to worry about Eve, Kara.”

“Okay, docky…

“Kara...tell Eve to activate the Graves protocol.”

“The Graves protocol?”

“Yes.”

“Do I need to know what it is?”

“I promise you. Your family will be safe. Nothing will happen to Eliza or Alex´s family. Not even to Nia Nal.”

“Okay.”

“Kara, if you want to be with my daughter together you need to make an end to this nightmare. You need to be patient and find a way to tear down Lena's defense walls. Her trauma involves not only her nightmare but also the threat that involved you and many other friends of Lena.   
Lex told Lena that Sam was not the last one on his list. For you, he had something special reserved.”

“Sam?”

“Yes. Sam was sixteen when it happened. It was at Lena's Birthday Party. Sam told her mother, Patricia, she has sex with a boy from high school and it was consensual. Her mother told her to get out of the house. Sam left Metropolis. She heard what happened with Lena from Andrea Rojas...Lena and Sam didn’t have contact after Sam left Metropolis, but I guess they had contact after what happened with Lena. All of Lena´s friends build a wall to protect and hide my daughter. Spread false news. Calling the tabloids. Sending fake pictures of Lena´s date life in Europe. Lies over lies. No one ever knew where Lena was, besides Andrea and Sam. What Gayle, Imra, and the older girls did back in College was on my orders, Kara. No one wanted to hurt your feelings. Andrea called me crying that you didn't deserve that nightmare.”

“How many women -girls did they...I mean…

“I don´t know Kara how many girls and women had to go true that nightmare...I know that Lena was pregnant and had a miscarriage after I told her what pills to take...If Sam did came to me and have told me I would have stopped Lex's little fun circle earlier.”

“I need...to…

“Over there is a sink...breath Kara....”

“I´m...BLARGH...Blargh…

…”

“Feeling better?”

“No...Does my sister know?”

“I think she knows the same story Sam told Patricia…Don´t tell her...she is happy and Sam and Ruby too...

“This is...what the hell...I mean, what...was it…I...

“Fun? A Game? Perversion. Madness…craziness...mental illness...I don't care what it was...I wished Lord would be dead...I failed, Kara...

“No…I´m going to find a way to...free...I...Lena needs you!"

“My son was a psychopath and his business perverted and evil. Being rich in this word means having power and control over people, Kara. Lex never loved Lena,   
He was jealous at the moment she was born, but she was a Luthor and she couldn’t be homosexual, that was impossible in his perfect fake family picture.   
That would have ruined his image and the family business, as he told her in his drunk madness. Lionel would have killed Lena and me too because I have given birth to a perversion. Lex thought teaching his sister a lesson would have changed her lifestyle. Lockwood, Morgan, and Lord were drunk that night. Lex went to bed and told them to have fun with his sister...and...I saw the files, Kara. You don't need to watch them...It was enough for me...

“Stop...I heard enough...I…

“Kara...this will be the last time we will see each other. I asked the prison guardians to make sure you never been here. No signature, no meeting, and not camera footage of you...did you understand what I'm asking you to do? Kara, you need to tell Nia that you didn't get a meeting with me. Yes, I know...I have a lot of information. Brainy installed security measures in her house and also in your apartment.”

“That´s...!”

“Tell Eve about the Graves protocol. From the moment you exit this prison, you need to be smart. Don't tell Nia or Eliza the real story. The only one that knows what really happened besides you, Lena´s old college friends. Leave Eliza out of this mess and also Nia. The Graves twins will protect your family...Eve and Kelly will have an eye on Lena and To stop Nasthy kill order...find Veronica criminal underground circles and do your job as a reporter. Destroy Maxwell Lord and his imperium. Lord Technologies.”

“How big is this story, Lillian?”

“Politics, Wall Street, Pharma Concerns. You could destroy every businessman in this world and you will stop every shady activity that Lord has his hands-on...You need to convince Siobahn and Veronica to help you.”

“That´s…

“What...use your brain, Kara...she used you to get the information about Lena´s past...use her back…Veronica will be a hard piece of work, but I know you can convince her to help you."

“What do you mean with Siobahn?”

“You know exactly what I mean Kara.”

“Nope…

“Kara?”

“Are we talking about seducing her…

“Call it as you want...fuck her...sex her...date her...the Mata Hari mission…

“She's…

“Siobahn has a soft spot for you. Eve activated the mission office. She spread around that she's in love with you. Siobahn was jealous of Lena; that was not a fake reaction. Siobahn had real feelings for you...She's the little bird that gives Cat Grant information...she's the one that is spreading gossip in the office with emails…I don't think that Veronica knows about Siobahn feelings for you, but she will soon know that you and Eve like each other.”

“What?”

“Yes!”

“Okay...If I get Siobahn to talk she will tell me where to find Veronica’s underground organization and find Maxwell Lord.”

“Bingo.”

“What if Lena finds out about Siobahn and Eve? She already thinks I have something with Mike... Yikes...”

“That´s a risk you have to take but I'm sure you can manage to tell her the truth when everything is over…don´t worry about Eve."

“I don't know...I don't know if I can stay away from Lena until this is over...I need to hold her in my arms and never let her go. To tell her that everything is going to be good and…

“Kara. Dr. Shanty senior was one of my best friends in Metropolis. She was also friends with your mother. Her daughter Shila is here to help Lena. Kelly and Shila are doing a great job, but Shila is a specialist in those cases. Don’t worry, you need to be patient with Lena.  
//  
My daughter called me often in the last seven years. She always called under the name De Luca. Lena always told me that you are the best and sweetest person on the planet. She did never forget that you felt like home to her. She could talk with you about anything and she loves you more than I can describe. She calls you her Supergirl.  
//  
You mean everything to her...I know you can find a way to help her and it means that your relationship needs to start as a friendship if you want her back.   
Lena needs to be sure that no one can´t hurt her or you, anymore. She never thought of herself. You were her priority. You and her friends. She wanted to protect the love of her life. That's what she told me...she left Metropolis to protect you, Kara. Lena wanted to stay and tell you everything, but Maxell survived.   
Eve tried to kill him in the hospital, but he was surrendered by the FBI. I begged Lena to leave and she did. She asks me to keep an eye on you and your family. I…

“What?”

“Your friends…

“What is with my friends?”

“Besides Nia. They are all working for me. Eve, the Graves, James Olsen, Kelly, Shila. Winn Scott and Brainy and Andrea.”

“All those years...they are faking to be my friends?”

“No! You are Kara Danvers... Everyone loves you, God no!!! No one is faking anything. They care about you. Kelly did really fall in love with Alex it was not fake. I can't deny I was angry at first, but...They all love being around you and when this assignment is over...They can do whatever they want. Eve told them I'm dying...Keep Nia out of trouble she´s nice, said Brainy.”

“They…

“Dating? I know...Brainy loves her and he will protect her…

“Wow...I'm speechless…

“I know it's a lot to take in...are you ready?”

“Yes…

“Lena loves...flowers...send her flowers…be around her, but as a friend."

“Just flowers?”

“If you know what she loves and likes? Send her something every week Anonimous with a little note...she will know it's coming from you.   
Do you remember what she likes to hear?”

“Yes...everything as it was yesterday.”

“I can't hug you, but…Kara I love you. I did hold you in my arms. I was not against this relationship. I was happy for you two.   
I never thought Lex could go so far...I think I did forget that he was like his father. I blended out his hate for Lena.” Lillian stretched her hands out.

Kara was holding Lillian’s hands. “Tell your mother she was a good friend to me. Tell her that one day we are going to visit Bora Bora together.   
She knows what I mean...Tell her I miss her and one day we will see each other again.”

“I…

“I know, Kara. Put your best smile on, and don´t cry.”

“I will try.”

“It´s time, Kara.”

“What about Lena? Does she know…

“Yes! The funeral arrangements are already arranged by Andrea Rojas anonymous under the name Lilliana De Luca.   
Be strong Kara. Your family is the only family Lena has now...You are her family, her home. She needs only to open the right door to let you in...open the door, Kara.”

“I will put an end to this misery and all of Lord's Crimes. I promise you.”

“Thank you, Kara…When everything is over...Car Grant will know what to do. She will leave out you and Nia of this assignment after Jack will call her...It´s all arranged.”

“Lillian…

“Yes…

“I will make Lena happy. Have a safe journey in your next life.”

“Don´t worry Kara. I will always be there and kick your ass if you make my daughter unhappy…Look up in the sky and if you see a storm coming, it's me...

“I don't intend to…

“Very good...as Cat Grant use to say...Hop, hop...why are you still here watching me talk.” Said Lillian smiling.

“Goodbye, Lillian” Kara smiled back.

“Goodbye, Kara.” Said Lillian.

*****

Kara was sitting on the couch that evening thinking that Lillian was nice to her and she would have liked to know her better.

The blonde was writing a few notes. In the end, it was just a big mess of notes.  
______________________________________________________________________________  
Kara´s✍Team Lena´s❤Team VS Lord 💀 Team Nasty Luthor ☠ Team

James👊   
Everyone 😈 Veronica Mike😈  
👍Winn   
That Siobahn Kill  
Brainy👌 

Loves   
Finding Lena Veronica "Try to help her...  
Eve♚   
Her the  
Kelly🏥 

Nia👗⛑ Andrea Lex † Edge - Lockwood.

Files Mike and Siobahn????????  
Shila 🏥 Sam🏥 

Lillian♛ Alex🏥   
🏥Lena💍   
🏥Eliza🌈

😍Lena ❤❤🌓❤❤Kara💋

🦂Protocol Graves ☢💣 "Fuck I have to call Eve!!!"  
_________________________________________________________________________________

The team sitting on the bench waiting for action. Mr.Albert the Luthor driver, Andrea, Sam, Gayle, Imra, Leslie. 💪 

Kara looked at her notes.

“Umm...never mind I got this!!” She told herself. Kara promised herself she would not think of what happened to Lena. She promised herself she was blending out Lena´s past...

Then suddenly someone knocked on Kara's door. The blonde opens the door.

"Hi darling, do you need me?"

“Eve, come in.”

“Hi, my love.” Eve smiled at her...

“Yeah...about that...you need to activate the Graves protocol.”

“Thank God!!!”

“I see you need action.”

“Yes! If I have to kiss that piece of shit one more time I need to kill someone for real. I found out he plays dirty. He wants to kill Lena and Nasty because Max pays him more and he has more fun being in his team.”

“We are not killing anyone, miss Vendetta.”

“Kara, I really like - like you, a lot, don't make me regret my feelings for you.” Eve looked intently at Kara.

“Ugh.”

"I want Mike´s and Nasty head on a plate. So, you are doing your job and I´m doing my job." Said Eve.

"Umm...what exactly is my job?"

"We are going to make Siobahn a little jealous...she´s still in love with you. So you are going to go out with her when she asks you. You bring her in your apartment and I´m going to beat the shit out of her...We want to know where Max Lord is??? Or not...

"Beat the shit out of her?"

"Yes...I mean if you want to have fun first...I´m on board."

"What? No fun, no beating up...I will get the information you need...

"With your smile? Siobahn is a trained killer like me! Are you out of your mind?"

"Okay...If she doesn´t talk you can ask her gently...beat the shit out of her...

"Thank you!"

"How is Lena?"

"She was scared when I told her that Max is back. She´s okay...Kara, look at me...she´s okay. Kelly, Shila, and I have everything under control, Her penthouse is safe. She´s safe. I activated the Graves protocol. Lena and your family will be secure 24/7."

"Does she know what am I about to do?"

"No!"

"Good."

"How are your kiss skills?"

"Very good...and no...this is not the office, Eve."

"What a shame."

"Eve, why didn't you help Lena that night?"

"Marcy and I were making a check-up around the house that night. Lex give us an order and Otis was not there that evening. Lex activated the house protocol. We couldn't get in but Marcy knew another way to enter the house. When we found Lena we gave Albert the order to drive her to the hospital and he should call her best friend Andrea Rojas. We took all the files we could find from Lex´s office. We kept Sam´s and Lena´s files hidden. Jack has files that are much more private to put an end to Maxwell.   
Marcy wanted to beat the shit out of Lex and his business partners. I was in shock...I couldn't move. We drove to Lex´s private airport but we couldn't catch them.   
The twins and I left the Luthor family until Lillian called me. I need to go back to Lex. I needed to call Marcy and Otis and give Lillian the chance to catch them alone all four at Luthor-Corp. Lillian wanted to kill Lex but I stopped her. I told her he was my duty. He will pay for what he's done to Lena and Sam. I killed Lex and I make it look like he committed suicide."

"How many women are involved, Eve?"

"Too many. Most of them were rich and powerful. They blackmailed their fathers. They drugged them and they filmed everything. Veronica Sinclair's father was the first. Sam because she kissed Lena and was in love with her, and Lena because she needed to be corrected. Kara, Lena´s brother was a very sick man. I was ashamed of myself that I loved him. Lex, Edge, and Maxwell lord were born rich, but Sam Lockwood wasn´t...this black emailing started as a business until it became an addiction for the four.   
You don´t want to see the images Kara, but I promise you we are going to take down Max and bring justice to every woman that had to go through that pain and we are going to give the families justice every single penny. He´s going to be ruined and after his trial, he´s going to die."

"Eve?"

"No, Kara! I don´t want Marcy or Otis to do. Both did spend 7 years protecting Lena, always hiding. It...It´s my duty. I promised Lillian I would kill him after the trial. I don´t care what happens to me. I´m a killer...don´t forget that...you can bring me flowers in prison if you want...

"You are saying this as your life doesn't count...I...Eve...what is this...I want to wake up from this nightmare."

"Oh, please...don´t start, little miss sunshine. God, how are making everyone falling for you?"

"I...

"Kara, you have only one proposal in this story. To make Lena happy. Yes, maybe you need to kiss me and maybe you have to kiss Siobahn once again, but after that, you are going to stay out of this dangerous game...We are professional killers. I have a team of experts. You are good, but I don´t think you can kill someone, it´s more probable you get killed by the end of Max's trial...You need to keep Nia busy and help her after her surgery. She needs you, Kara."

"Okay. Does she have a date?"

"Yes, next week."

"That soon?"

"Lena is the best! Don´t worry she´s in good hands."

"Her heart condition?"

"Sam will be there with Lena during the operation. Alex is assisting Lena. I heard them talk today. Nia has a top team of surgeons and they know how much she meats to you."

"Okay!"

"You care about her a lot!"

"She´s like my daughter. She had a difficult time after she came out to her family. The mobbing, the discrimination, the...I thought being a lesbian was the end of the world but Nia had to go through a lot and she´s so young and brave. I admire her...I need to protect her. I wished her sister would come here and be here for her. They had a huge fight about Nia´s transition. Nia loves her sister and she suffered a lot."

"Umm...why don´t you ask Lena if she could talk to Nia´s sister? You two could drive to Nia´s family and talk about Nia."

"Umm...do you think she will do that?"

"Yes!"

"What about her security?"

"Don´t worry! Where Lena moves one of the twins is there to protect her. Mostly Otis. He's like a teddy bear...he suffered a lot after Mercy told him what happened. He never left Lena´s side. Not since that night. I was here In Nacional City to watch over Eliza and the team had the pleasure to keep an eye on you and your family. Marcy is the head of this team and she´s like a helicopter mother, but very deadly who tries to come near Lena or you."

"All these people...I don´t know what to say...

"Shut up. We are all rooting for you and Lena. We want all an invitation for the wedding."

"Wedding?"

"Yes! A wedding that´s Lena´s plan. Kara...she loves you. She wants to spend the rest of her life with you...what´s your plan?"

"I need a glass of rum...do you want something to drink?"

"No!"

"More for me!!!" Kara was sweating...First, she needed to date her...what? A wedding? Kara was pretty sure this was going to kill her thinking of Lena that wants to marry her...Okay yes, she knows the truth now, but...

"Kara can you be any louder...Chill, the wedding is not tomorrow...

"Chill...

"Yes! I will teach you a technic for your panic attacks. God, you need to be more like badass...you look like someone killed Bambi's mother...

"Do you like Disney movies?"

"No! I´m more the type..."Die slowly! Nikita and Terminator..."

"Oh...Alex likes Tererminator a lot...

"What I mean...this is not a movie film Kara. This is reality."

"I...

"This is a none registered gun. You are going to have this with you all the time. I´ll show you how to use it...

"A gun?"

"Yes!"

Kara just relizied it was reality. It was not a bad dream or an action movie. Everything she heard was real. She had a mental break done, but Eve was there to help her out. Lillian told Eve to help Kara be prepared mentally. Eve should show Kara how to control the panic attacks that she had since she was a baby.

To be continued...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you could follow the dark plot and what happened in Kara´s and Lena´s past.
> 
> No more darkness for the next chapters. We starting to rebuild love and trust.  
> Kara will help Eve to find Maxwell Lord and rebuild her relationship with Lena Luthor slowly and giving her time to feel safe.
> 
> Kara had only one mission, but Kara isn't Kara if she wouldn't try to help a person in Lena´s past life to open her eyes. 
> 
> Kara´s too good for this world to let someone suffer in her pain and that would bring her in danger. Damit Kara!!!
> 
> Thank you for reading. chapter 5 in a few days.


	5. The road trip to Parthas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara and Lena were getting a little bit closer on their way to Nia´s hometown.
> 
> An unexpected maneuver happens in Kara´s apartment that will bring Lena´s life in danger, but Lillian's troop will solve the problem, but only thanks to Kara´s hopeful speech and compassion, the Lord case will be closed soon.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Sam and Alex were able to convince Lena to go with Kara to Nia´s family. Alex knew how much it meant for Lena, to be able to look Kara in her eyes and start a normal conversation without feeling guilty about what happened in College. 

The way Lena broke up was hurtful as Kara didn't mean anything to her. thought Alex.

Alex told Lena that Kara knew what happened in College. Well, Alex didn't know the real truth. Not even close. 

(Not the drama. Alex knew the story that Sam told her.)

Even if Kara was shocked and still dealing with her anger and sadness, she did understand now, why Lena broke up with her. 

Kara was ready to go slow and not push Lena. If she didn't want to talk or start a past conversation about her trauma, Kara was going to wait. 

Lena needed a new start. Kara arranged with herself that it was something she had to deal with herself and learn to accept that it happened - that was something she could not change, or erase from her memories.

Maybe Kara also needed therapy once a week to understand how she should handle her panic attacks and digest what she knows about Lena and her evil brother.

Lena agreed to take this little trip with Kara to visit Nia´s hometown Parthas by sending the blonde a text message.

Before the little trip to Nia´s hometown. Kara spoke to Kelly on the phone.

Kelly told Kara she should act normal and be just Kara. The blonde should just be herself and make Lena laugh a lot and by the way not forget to stop when it was too much for herself. 

No problem Kara said to Kelly on the phone, she was a clown and a dork. What could go wrong when Kara was just pushing her feelings down. 

“I know!” Said Kelly. The one that everybody loves. Said Kelly to Kara. 

****

It was Saturday morning. A sunny and beautiful morning. Kara told Lena she was picking her up with her car and she would text her when she arrived.

Kara was driving. Lena didn’t comment on Kara's drive skills today. 

In college, she used to tell her in a sweet way she's a disaster. 

Today she just sat there and fell asleep. She peacefully slept against the door’s window. Kara glanced at her and melted right away at the sight of her cute, sleeping soundly Lena in the passenger seat.

Three hours passed and Lena was still sleeping as she never slept so well in ages.

Kara stopped at the nearest gas station to fill the car tank and bought some snacks and coffee for the next miles.   
Kara didn’t want to wake Lena, so she just made her way inside taking less time than possible because Lena was alone.

Kara made her way back to the car after paying the bill. 

She slowly opened Lena´s door to wake her up.

"Lena" she sang quietly a few times.

"Mmm," Lena hummed, slowly rubbing her eyes and steering before she saw Kara smiling staring back at her. She smiled at that cute face that only Kara could make.

"Did you sleep well?" Kara is smiling at Lena still in her sleeping state.

"Yeah, are we in Parthas?"

"No, not yet, there’s still some road actually… and... I bought some stuff to eat and coffee, I got you healthy food…Kara showed Lena knowing it was one of her favorite things.

"Chocolate Ice Cream...I hope it´s still your favorite...”

"Kara I...You’re the best...

"You’re welcome...Kara smiled going back to the driver seat.

_____

Kara was telling a random story about how she helped an old lady over the road. And she thought Kara wanted to take her handbag and how Cat Grant always called her Kira in the first two years of her daily job at Catco Magazine."

Lena laughs, letting Kara´s as she drove taste her chocolate Ice cream. Kara opened her mouth still looking straight onto the road, receiving the Ice cream.

Lena asked Kara if she was tired so she could take her place, honestly concerned.

"No, babe, I’m not tired….thank you." Ups...Kara said babe, but apparently, Lena was okay with it. She smiled even when she looked away. Kara could see that smile she missed.

The trip would have all been quite nice if it weren’t for the fact that they were actually trying to get somewhere. Suddenly, something on the road caught Kara´s eye. Cutting off from the highway was a narrow road – probably the only one in the next 10 miles. But by the time Kara realized what it was, they were already halfway past it.

“Shit.” Said Kara.

“What?”

“Um, we may have just missed the turnoff.”

Kara was expecting some sort of reaction from Lena, after all, she had been the one to drag them out there, but what she wasn’t expecting was a giggle.

Lena looked over with a smile, “Guess we’re lost, huh? Well, that´s not news...my love.”

“Guess we are.” Kara returned a smile, giddy from the air and the spark in her lungs despite that Lnea just called her, my love, and could barely breathe.   
So they drove on across the highway, through forests and fields and by lakes, talking about everything and nothing at all. And then Lena said something unexpected but also expected.

“I...Love... Kara.”

“I know, and I Love you too...I promise you - you can take your time. We take our time. Let's start slowly...”

The soft smiles on both their faces never left, etched into their skin like how each other’s presences were etched into their lives. 

Finally, they arrived in Parthas.

They spend a few hours at Nia´s house, convincing Maeve, Nia´s sister to be in National City. Of course, the older sister would be there.   
She was amazed that Nia found such amazing friends like Kara and her doctor came to tell her that Nia was about to have a long surgery.

t would be better if a family member would be there also because Nia suffered from heart problems. Told her Lena.

Lena explained to Maeve step by step the whole surgery.  
Dr. Luthor was calm, holding Maeve's hand. Kara told her that Nia would need help after the surgery. She was glad to do it, but she was sure if Maeve could stay for a few weeks in Nacional City, Nia would feel better to have her sister around.

Maeve told them she would drive tomorrow to National City. She needed to make sure first her father was okay for a few weeks being alone. 

By the time the first golden thread of sunlight edged itself across the horizon, they had found themselves back home. 

Suddenly Lena said something to Kara before she could close her apartment door.

“I´m sorry...”

“Sorry? No please Lena...don´t cry. Everything will be good. I promise you.”

“I´m happy you asked me to have this trip...Well, Sam and Alex did, but it was a good idea.”

“We were lost in the middle of nowhere and you were happy? That makes me believe in miracles...after all, I can remember that you hated when I drove the car...you called me a risk for society.”

“I...

Kara managed to keep a straight face for all of five seconds before they both doubled over in laughter. Kara´s eyes watered and Lena´s stomach hurt.

“You’re a dork, Kara...”

"Yeah."

Kara smiled. She didn't push any further. She just smiled.

"I see you around, Kara."

"Yeah...I wait here until you close your door."

"Thank you...and don´t worry, sleep. Nia´s in good hands..."

"I know, Dr. Luthor."

"Goodnight Miss Danvers." Lena smiled and closed the door. She could hear Kara screaming "Yes!!!" Lena smiled at the thought that Kara was happy. 

______

The next morning Lena was sitting in her medical office smiling. On her desk was a rose bouquet with a note.

“Bruises will heal, there's no need to run. And you may not know until you grow  
who you are or what you know today. But not everybody finds a love like ours cause that's what our love can do without fear. Have a nice day.”

Kara kept sending everyday little notes to Lena since the road trip.

Nia surgery day came. Kara took the day off. Cat Grant came to visit the clinic to see how Kara was doing during the launch break. What gave Kara a smile on her face. The blonde was a mess, but she needed to be strong for Maeve and Brainy.

Cat made one of her speeches. She had something on her that made Kara find always hope. 

“Thank you, for being here, Mrs. Grant.”

“I stay here with Nia´s sister and Brainy...Kara. Get yourself a coffee, you look tired. What did I tell you last week…

“I know…Lena is the best surgeon in the world...Dr. Arias is the best heart specialist in the world, and my sister is in there too and she will kill both if Nia dies...

“And why are you still here?” Said Cat.

“But…

“Nia will sleep when she's finished with the surgery. Kara, you look tired. Don´t worry I'm here...” Said Cat.

“Okay.”

“By the way...you kissed Miss Teschmarker last week before she left...what was that all about?” Asked Cat.

“That...yeah...a social experiment…

Mrs. Grant stood up and grabbed Kara´s face and kissed her. “You could have asked me. I´m always glad to help.” Said, Cat Grant.

Brainy and Maeve looked confused. Not as much Kara did.

Eliza was walking by when it happened. She just entered her office without saying a word. Kelly and Shila did the same, both speechless as they walked by. 

Kara walked away to get herself a coffee reminding herself that this was a social experiment. Kara had to admit that Cat was a good kisser.

“Yes, Ma’am.”

_____

Kara was getting a coffee in a little coffee shop near the clinic. Then suddenly a voice spoke to her.

It was Siobahn's voice. She did fall into Eve´s trap.

“I kinda always knew I’d end up your ex-girlfriend.”

Those were the words she spoke to Kara after months of silence. 

The words that haunted Kara now. Was she really so obvious? Kara was very clear that she still loved Lena. she always had been it and she never stopped.   
There was only one she loved. Kara just used Siobahn, this was reality. Even if the story turned out to be that Siobahn used her at first.

“I hope I hold a special place in your heart.” Said Siobhan.

Special. No, she was not special. Were she? Kara shook her head as paid for her coffee. She needed to focus on what Lillian told her, right now.

“And you know it makes me sick that I was just a filler. But I should have thought of that before we kissed and you always spoke about her. You must be happy she´s back.”

Siobahn words rang true. She was just a filler. No one special. No one was special. She was just her ex and a killer, but Kara had to make sure she could invite Siobahn into her apartment.

"I know that when I see you with her I’m going to die. I know I’m going to want you and you know why. It’s going to kill me to see you with Lena ‘Cause I’m the most dangerously jealous kind of ex-girl. But you should have thought of that before we kissed.”

Kara became pale. She had to do something. Siobhan was mad. What did she mean by the most dangerous kind of...? Oh, Shit...

Kara stared at her as tears began to drip from Siobahn's eyes. Kara traced her face with her hands.

Kara had in mind Eve´s and Lillian's words.

Siobahn was given the perfect opportunity to seduce her. "Fuck." Kara kissed her, called a taxi, and both drove to her apartment. 

Kara sent a text message to Eve when she was in the bathroom hiding.

______

"She´s here. I need help!"

"On my way, keep her busy?" Texted Eve.

“Keep her busy? Thought Kara. Siobahn was already naked in the bed waiting for her to walk in and have action.

"I did hide a syringe in your bedroom under the left cushion. Take the syringe and make that bitch sleep for a few hours. You need to inject the syringe in her neck..."

"I'm not a doctor!!!"

"Kara?"

"Okay!"

20 minutes later...

Kara hated this but she needed to keep Siobahn busy and distracted.

“You like this?” Kara asks, pounding her fingers deep, making Siobahn vision spot. She moans out at kara, digging her nails into Kara´s back, feeling dragging along her walls.

Kara was shutting down her emotions when she was doing this. Catching Lord was her priority.

Siobahn wanted to hear Kara say it. Say that she was hers...

“Who do you want?” She snarls, Kara´s eyes were shut when she did say what Siobahn wanted to hear.

“You,” Kara gasps. “I want you.” God, she wanted to die.

“That’s right,” She grits out. “I fucking own you. you are mine and now make me come...”

This was too much for Kara's emotions. It didn't help that when she was doing this, she was also thinking of Lena.

Siobahn´s eyes rolled back as Kara's tempo speeded up. 

Ten seconds later Kara took the syringe and injected Siobahn. With a scream, Siobahn pushed Kara away.

"What the fuck...Kara, what did you do?"

"I...did hurt...I´m sorry...but...

Ten seconds later Siobahn was sleeping peacefully and Kara took a shower. A long shower feeling guilty. 

Eve was already in her apartment. She could hear Kara talking, puke, and screaming at herself. Kara was definitely not Mata Hari.

Kara exits the bathroom ready to leave her apartment again.

“Kara!”

“Yes! Don´t talk, don't say a word...I feel like...an asshole...Yeah...I´m a female Mike...It´s disgusting, I fell dirty...”

“It was just a job. Look at me. It didn’t mean anything. Say it!”

“It didn’t mean anything. It was only a job.”

“Good...and now go back to the clinic. Lena and Kelly saw you kiss Siobahn. She was looking for you when the surgery was over...”

“What? Fuck...What should I tell her?”

“The truth. Tell her the truth. She´s not dumb. You just showered, you smell fresh, why would you do that. Lena saw you drive away with Siobahn...”

“Fuck...I hate this...I can´t keep secrets...I´m not a spy. I´m a fucking reporter that writes and stands for truth and honesty…

“Kara...breath, she's not going to kill you.” Said Eve.

When Kara entered the clinic, she saw a lot of happy faces. Nia was fine. She will sleep a lot in the next few days. Her pain medications were strong. 

Alex was holding Brainy´s hands. Telling him that everything was good...He smiled.

Lena spotted Kara and made her a sign to walk into her office. Her face was neutral, not mad, and not like she was about to kill Kara.

Kara nod and followed Lena.

“Hi.” Said Lena.

“Are you okay?”

“Tired of 7 hours of surgery. It takes a lot of energy...umm...you left to get coffee two hours ago, told me Eve...I…

“Lena...I need to tell you something and…

“Wait...I...need to ask you something first..."Tell me how do you do it? How do you bear? Standing in the eye of the storm like you don't care, because your inner light pushes the darkness always away. Always smiling when you're down. Even when we all want to hang our heads. You laugh out loud. Don't you know that loving you is easy? You make love look so easy..."

“Easy?” What the hell is she talking about thought Kara. is Lena trying to rhyme poems...

“Yeah...There's no way. Did I do something in another life to deserve your grace? How did they make you in heaven so pure and free?  
Living in a world where we lose our hearts but yours still beats."

"My grace? Kara could sense that Lena was made, but in a way that was new for Kara. The calm before the storm. She thought.

Lena, please...

"Kara...

"Lena, stop it...I just kissed another woman...I know you saw me. Eve told me you and Kelly saw me drive away in a taxi with Siobahn...by the way Cat Grant kissed me too...”

Lena smiled. Because Kara told her the truth, but it was so fast that Kara needed air to breathe after her confession.

"I just...Siobhan...and then...well...and then I took...and I came back to you.

Lena Laugh.

"Why are you laughing. I just told you I kissed my ex and had sex with her...That´s not a good start to rebuild trust and this relationship."

"It´s perfect, Kara:..Kelly told me about Cat Grant, but I guess...Well, she likes you a lot."

"Lena, are you making fun of me."

"Eve called me and asked me not to kill you?"

"OMG. She told you...She's A bitch...she´s...I hate her...

"Eve was running out of here like the world was on fire. Before Nia had her surgery. She was telling me the story of Eve being in love with you. I asked her, and Eve could never lie to me. I need to tell you the truth...Eve is not in love with you. So, she told me she was going to rescue you from your ex. I didn't have any details, but I´m glad that you told me the truth...So, you are breaking a lot of hearts in the last years...and did you clear everything with Siobahn?"

Oh shit, Lena was kind of mad.

"Lena...Eve loves my brain a long story. Well, Siobahn is my ex and that's not what you think happened between us, well, yes we had sex, or better she was having fun alone...I was thinking of you and... that´s disgusting to say... I had to clear things with her. Lena, I love you, not Eve, Cat, or Siobahn...It's A long story...

"Now you are lying to me, Kara...I know why Eve is here. I want you to stay away from trouble...My past is a long and hurtful story. So, I think I deserve the truth from you..."

"I want to find peace for us. I want to be able to walk with you hand in hand. Go on dates and talk and...Siobahn was trying to hurt you...and...

"And?"

"You know what I mean...

"Tell me...

"I love you, and I want to kiss you and be with you... without any fear...

"I want that too, Kara, but not now...something unexpected happened again, and until Eve hasn't clear it...we need to wait."

Kara knew exactly what she was talking about Maxwell Lord and the files.

"Unexpected like an old ex?"

"No!!! I don´t have any ex besides you!"

Yeah, she was right Jack was a friend.

"Good...that's all I wanted to know. I´m patient, Lena.   
I look into your eyes and you remind me what our relationship was all about. Sometimes my heart what's only to ache...but I know you need time…

“What about Siobahn?”

“That was a mistake. I told her I want you. That's all. Siobhan knows that. It was a goodbye. It's okay if you are mad and you...

Lena suddenly took Kara´s hand. "Kara, I don't need time to figure out what I want is to be with you...I need to stop someone from hurting us first...I'm not afraid to kiss you or to hold you...give me more time doesn't mean I need time for me to figure out if I want you. God, my heart and body crave for you...Kara, the day you left (MIT) I was standing behind a wall with Andrea holding my hands. I watched you leaving with the bus. It was like no other pain I've ever known before.   
To love someone so much killed me. To have no control of the situation...I just felt crushed without you over the years. I've been strong for so long, but know I feel lost without you if you are not near me."

"You want...really close?"

"Yes, Kara!"

"That's...I mean, Good news Dr. Luthor...

"You are such a dork...Of course, I want you close to me...

"You could have been more specific...

"More specific than moving her and tell you that I love you?"

"Umm...well, I was still shocked after what happened at Alex's house...I still have those unexpected panic attacks and I felt like an asshole.”

"Kara, I´m doing therapy for 7 years...Yes, maybe I will need more time, but that doesn't mean I don't want the whole spectrum of being with you. I was scared because you were screaming at my face. Something that Lex liked to do a lot before he committed suicide…

Nope, he did not! By the way. It was your new secretary that is waiting right now for my ex to wake up and beat the shit out of her…in my apartment. Thought Kara at that moment.

“Kara...

"I´m sorry...

"Darling, don't apologize. I know you were frustrated and hurt. It must be not easy to see me here working for your mother after so many years...and...

"Smiling at me, like you wanted to seduce me?"

"Yeah! I was surprised to see you sitting in the room with Nia...I thought..."

"Nia too...

"And then... Mike?"

"Well, that´s...he´s a Jerk and no, I was just...Giving him a...

"I know...I asked Nia."

"Dr. Luthor?"

"What?"

"Nia, is a patient?"

"She's also your best friend."

"One of them...you are also my best friend Lena. Remember in College we used to talk about everything. You know you can tell me anything."

"Not today. I´m hungry and I´m tired, Kara..."

"I have a solution for your stomach...the rest can wait,” Kara said smiling. Lena still had her hand on Kara´s.

"Give me 20 minutes and I see you on the way out...

"Okay...Lena?"

“Yes…

“You are the most important person for me besides my sister. I have built this fortress of lies over the years. I read all those stories, I had to know better that it wasn´t the truth…I had to...”

“Kara, we are going to make it right this time. There's no need to go back to the past. I´m not going to run away from you, I´m not going to break your heart again. I love you and I will show you I'm here to stay.” Said Lena smiling.

Kara smiled back and left Lena to change in her daily clothes.

“Pizza or Dumplings?” Asked Lena walking outside the clinic.

“Both” Said Kara smiling.

“Can we walk to the park after food…

“Yes!”

Kara was walking with Lena thinking that she forgave her quickly what she just confessed in Lena´s office. 

It felt strange and had bad taste. Kara told Lena she just kissed her ex and had sex with her.

Her Lena would have kicked her out of her office instantly. 

Kara remembered Lena being very jealous and not a pacifist when it came to other girls or boys hitting on the blonde in college.

"Umm...

"Are you okay, Kara?"

"Yes, yes...I´m happy...that´s all...

"I´m happy too."

Kara was not sure if Lena was paying cool or she was okay with what she just heard in her office.

______

In the meantime, something unexpected happened in Kara´s apartment.

Siobhan could escape. She did beat the shit out of Eve. 

When Kara came home after a nice evening with Lena at the park, her head was spinning seeing Eve lying on the floor unconscious bleeding.

Red Alarm. Siobahn was free and on her way to Veronica Sinclair. Lena was in danger and Mike was still out there waiting for a chance to kill Lena.

Kara panicked. She had to call for help.

Kara called the guys and Kelly.

Shila stayed on red alert and called the Graves twins.

Winn, Brainy, James, and Kelly arrived at Kara's apartment shocked to hear that she knew everything about their double lives.  
Kara explained that she had a meeting with Lillian. She knows everything the whole truth.  
No time for apologies told Kara the trooper. Lena was priority number one. Eve woke up after Kelly helped her. She needed a hospital, but Eve was not going to attend any medical attention, not after that bitch was free.

Eve advances on full killer modus. She smiled. Kelly thought she was broken. No, Eve could put a spy bug on Siobhan. Winn had just to find out where she was and they would find Veronica Sinclair and Mike's hidden place.

Otis was a trained killer, he was protecting Lena.

Kelly and Sheila had an eye on Kara´s family. Informing Sam and Andrea. The operation was starting.

Brainy had an eye on Nia and Maeve not moving from their side.

Winn located Siobahn.

James, Eve and Marcy were ready to enter Veronica's hidden place. Kara and Winn could hear them talk and every movement they were making from Kara's apartment.

Then suddenly a gunshot.

Siobahn died protecting Veronica's body. Marcy, Eve and James caught Veronica and Mike and brought them to a safe place where they could interrogate them.

It seemed that Veronica didn't have any intention to talk about Maxwell Lord.

Kara was not Kara if she thought that maybe she would break down Veronica's walls.

“Kara, a smile will not make her talk” Said Eve.

“Shut up. You and your planes...Last time you made me do what you ask me to. Now it's my turn. Leave me all alone with her. Try to find out where Nasty Luthor is. I remember Lena telling me about Veronica when we were in college. I know what she needs to hear.” Said Kara.

“Kara, Veronica bites like a snake. Stay far away enough from her…” Said Marcy.

“I´ve got this…

______

Kara walked into the room. Veronica was smiling at her as Kara Danvers could make her talk. That was a joke.

“Hi, Veronica. Nice to meet you finally. Lena told me a lot about you.” Said Kara.

“Please, as if that bitch had a good word to say about me.”

“Actually...Lena had. I know you two were not best friends at boarding school, but she told me a lot of stories about how you protected her from the mean girls in the first year she came to Mont Helena. I think you were just hurt that Andrea became her best friend and not you.   
You were jealous that Lena had Andrea and you thought she didn't care about you.”

“Kara, if you think this is going to lead you to any information...you are wrong.”

“Do you know my profession, my job, Veronica?”

“You are a reporter.”

“Do you know what I learned over the years...I can see when someone is lying to me, or their emotions change during an interview.   
It tells me you cared about Lena. I know what happens to you and other friends of Lena.”

“Well, Lena must be proud of her brother. He black emailed my father by showing him disgusting material. Me being drunk and being used as a doll...I'm sure she doesn't even know what happened to me.”

“Yeah! Is that what you think? Do you know about Samantha Arias…

“Sam?”

“Yes. Sam Arias came after you. Well, that was not a business plan. it was just fun. Lex saw how she kissed Lena. You know little teenage stuff you do when we are experimenting with our own sexuality. Something that we all do. Well, Lex thought teaching Sam a lesson was a good idea.” Said Kara.

“I...I didn't know. Sam was always nice to me...Did he hurt Andrea too…

“No, no...she was lucky...but Lena, not so lucky…

“Kara what are you talking about…

“Suddenly interested in someone you hate?”

“I don't hate Lena. I...Maxell…

“About him...are you not tired to make him happy? He will never love you and you know that.” Said Kara.

“He loves me!”

“Veronica, look at me... If you think that´s love I´m sorry for you! He's using you since he took your life. You think that's love, but that's just the outcome of the night he raped you. Veronica, he's a monster…

“What happened to Lena?”

“He never told you...Oh, he never will tell you because in his brain is sick. He thinks it was love what he's done to Lena and you. He took Lena like an animal thinking it was what she wanted. Lockwood, Edge, and Max did the same with Lena as they did to you. It was Lex that gave them the free pass to do it. She nearly died. She broke up with me because I was in danger. Are you still thinking he will love you? He's obsessed with Lena. You are just a slave for his mission. He knows you would do anything for him.”

“Is Lena okay?”

“She's dealing with the consequences like you and Sam. It would be better if Maxell Lord is in prison.”

“If I tell you where he is...can you please tell Lena I´m sorry...and…

“Veronica. You can tell her yourself when this is over. You are going to be the main witness on Lord´s trial. Those people outside will protect you and the other woman. Sam and Lena are not on those files. You need to help us stop him.”

“I´m scared.”

“I´m scared too, but we need to stop this evil circle, Veronica. Try to remember who you are. Remember Veronica. The one that was good and protected others from being bullied. You are strong. You are Veronica Sinclair not a goddamn doll for Lord's or any other man with an evil business agenda.”

“Call Marcy. I give her what she needs to find Lord and Nasty Luthor.”

“Thank you, Veronica.”

“Now, go! You look like you are about to cry and I hate people that cry in front of me.”

“Yeah! I like you too...”

“Kara, take care of Lena.”

“Oh, I will, but you are also invited to the party”

“I…don't think. I will probably go to jail...

“As my personal guest…I make sure you can be there. I´m Kara Danvers and you have a friend now..."

“Thank you.”

“You are welcome.”

______

One day later Maxwell Lord was arrested. Mike and Nasty Luthor were killed by Mercy and Otis Graves. Lillian gave them an order too.

One thing was left to do before everything was over. Kara asked everyone to tell the truth even if it will hurt or break someone's heart.

Kara was talking about Alex. Sam knew she had to, and this was going to be devastating for Alex. Kelly had to tell Alex also the truth and Nia will need time to get better, but she loved Brainy. When Nia will be okay with her surgery, Brainy would have talked to her.

In the meantime, Kara made an appointment with Shelly´s Island Medical bay. Now that Lord was in prison she had a surprise for Lillian.

The older Luthor was not feeling good as the director told Kara. Lena had the chance to see her mother before she was going to die. 

Lillian has to tell Lena the truth about how Lex really died and how many people were involved in protecting her daughter. and her friends from college.

To be continued….

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this chapter.
> 
> Chapter 6 is coming soon with Sam and Alex talking. Lena and Kara visit Lillian on Shelly Island. Brainy confession to Nia. and a lot of fluff.
> 
> Stay tuned, and thank you for reading.
> 
> Vespina.


	6. Lena´s personal disorder - part one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara was right. To tell the truth was liberating, and the talk was good for everyone. Somehow Lena was hiding her personality disorder from her friends and especially from Kara.
> 
> Thank God, was Eve not only trained in martial arts, she was sensible enough to know what Lena was battling with.
> 
> Lena´s personal disorder - part one is about to find the courage and be open with the one you love the most but Lena has to find comfort and she still fears losing Kara if she will find out with what kind of nightmare she´s dealing with.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

A week passed since Kara made the “You need to tell the truth, speech” As it was easy. Thought Sam, Kelly, and the rest of the trooper.

Nia, Maeve, and Brainy left Nacional City. Nia wanted to be home with her family. Lena and Alex explained to Brainy and Meave everything they needed to do for Nia. They told them to call if she would be sick or have a high temperature. They would send an emergency chopper to bring her back to National City.

After the day was over and Nia left the clinic with Brainy and Meave. Kelly, Sam, and Shila were sitting in the living room drinking a glass of red wine at Sam's house. Kelly was telling Sam that Kara was standing in front of the troop shaking her body and telling them “Shake everything out guys and you will feel better.”

Did Kara feel better? Just like that...after everything she heard in the last two weeks. Thought Sam.

Sam had to laugh imagining Kara shaking her body, but it was not funny. Kelly looked worried. Who would start to talk first, while sitting in the living room waiting for Alex?

Ruby was having a sleepover at Tracy´s house. Tracy and Ruby were best friends and Sam's daughter loved sleepovers at Tracy´s, Thank God. Sam´s daughter was the last person that should have heard about this whole nightmare. Ruby knew her father was not in the picture. She asked a few times when she was a little girl, but never pushed it so far that she wanted his name or his address. He was just her nonexistent father that didn't care about his daughter.

Sam couldn't give her daughter an answer to the question Ruby would ask. Sam couldn't even remember the whole harassment, and that was good because she knew she would fall into a deep depression if she would remember. The brunette never regretted having kissed Lena or vice versa, but if she would have known that Lena's brother was spying on them, she would have probably never have done it. Sam and Lena were teenagers. What harm can it do? Yeah, what harm can it do…

*****

Alex came home a little late that night. She was checking on some patient's vital signs and pain level medication before she left. Lena took the night shift at the clinic. 

When Alex entered her house she was a little perplexed seeing Sam, Kelly, and Shila sitting on the couch. Three faces that looked like someone died. It scared Alex, but she thought “What the fuck.” It couldn’t be that bad...The girls just hanging around, what could be happened in a few hours?

Alex was glad that Sam and Kelly found a way to be friends and could communicate perfectly at work, and also in private. Well, hearing that Kelly was five years older than Alex and that she was Sam's first phycologist back in Metropolis, was shocking for Alex. The redhead thought that Dr. Shanty Senior was Sam´s doctor at the time she met her wife.

“What?” Asked Alex.

“Babe, please sit, you make me nervous…” Said Sam.

“Okay, girls...what the heck is going on here?”

“Darling can you please sit…” Said Sam worried. 

Sam knew that Alex could be a little heated when someone was lying to her.

“No! What is Kelly talking about?”

“Alex, sit…” Said Kelly.

“Do I need a drink for this?”

“Oh, that's brilliant...You are not drinking after ten years of therapy.” Said Kelly.

“My wife is sitting next to you, and you are telling me what I can or not can do?”

“I'm on kelly´s side... If you want to drink you know where the door is, but if you leave... You can sleep at Kara's. She will be soooo proud of you.” Said Sam.

“Ladies, please...can we calm down...” Said Shila.

“Let me get this right...You are five years older than me...you were already a trained psychologist in the military and someone paid you to watch over me? This person also paid you to fall in love with me and have sex with me...or is it part of the military training?” Said Alex angry at Kelly.

“I hope this is your lowest point, Alex Danvers. I fall in love with you. If you believe me or not! Lillian Luthor didn't pay me to love you. Shila worked for Lilian too and we met after we broke up. Our Mission is over, but we would like to stay in Nacional City. We already explained to your mother the Lord's case, and what happened with Sam and Lena in the past, and what our job was...” Said Kelly.

“Lillian Luthor? Okay...what in the name of God, is happening here? What case...Sam and Lena...Is this the part of the story where I'm going to punch a wall...and scream...” Said Alex.

“This is the part of the story where Shila and I are walking out of here because you are in too much anger right now. Your wife will explain the rest. And to tell you the truth... Your sister is a badass. This case will be closed thanks to your sister Kara, and her hope speeches. God, she's good...Alex try to forgive me, but I did it because Lillian Luthor was a mentor for every student at the university. She loved Lena and...our past and what we shared was real. I´m glad you found Sam...So, try not to hate what we had in the past...” Said Kelly, smiling and walking with Shila home.”

…”

“Did they just walk out, like that? I didn't mean to hurt her feelings...I...Ugh...”

“Babe, sit next to me please.” Said Sam.

Alex walked to her wife and sat next to her. Sam was holding her hand softly.

…”

“This is not going to be a nice story. I can see it in your eyes...I will listen and try to be calm...but...”

“First I need to know that you are okay. That you were listening to what Kelly said. She was in love with you, no matter the fact that she was assigned to protect you.”

“I made a note in the back of my head I´m not angry anymore... But right now I want to know the truth, that's all. I want to know that you are okay, by telling me this whole…case.”

“I am...It's ages ago. I don't remember a lot of what happened at Lena's birthday party, but I'm okay. We need to be okay. Me, you and Lena...your sister...and the rest of the women that shared our story, Like Veronica Sinclair.”

“Women?”

“Yes. Alex! The Lord´s case involved Blackmailing rich young girls...Lex and his business partners recorded everything to Blackmail people that didn't want to make deals with L-Corp or Lord Technologies...It would have been a scandal for the families to see their daughter act like they were doing this as free will or do it with pleasure...They dogged the woman...and... 

"That´s...disgusting...but what...are you saying? That´s...

"Alex do you know what a corrective rape is?”

“Something disgusting and mad...horrible... Also called curative or homophobic rape, is a hate crime in which one or more people are raped because of their perceived sexual orientation or gender identity. The common intended consequence of the rape, as seen by the perpetrator, is to turn the person heterosexual or to enforce conformity with gender stereotypes. The term corrective rape was coined in South Africa. Why are you asking me?” Said Alex.

“That's what happens to me and Lena.” Said Sam.

“I...you...you told me it was...wait...you said it was consensual. Then I asked you again and you told me it was not. It was a boy at your high school...what…I was right. You had therapy not because your mother told you to get out of the house and never come back, but because you were dealing with a crime that happened to you...what do you mean at Lena's birthday party? What did they do to you...” 

Sam walked into the kitchen and she had a glass of water for Alex in her hands. “Here drink this…What do you know about Lena's brother besides what I told you?”

“Nothing! I read that he committed suicide.” Said Alex.

“Well, he was killed by Eve Tescmarker.”

“What? Lena's new secretary? A killer is working as a sweet nice secretary...that´s...”

“And she was also Lex Luthor´s ex-bodyguard and in love with him. Lena´s brother was a sick man like his father, Alex.   
He and his little gang of business friends. Maxwell Lord. Sam Lockwood and Edge Morgan were predators and sick...”

“I remember that my mother read an article about Lillian Luthor storming into her son's office and killing two of them, one survived the shooting.”

“Lord survived. That's why Kelly said the Lord´s case. Your sister found out where he was hiding. She's strong and she loves Lena. Kara knows the whole truth and she called me to tell me that it was time to tell you the truth...I was...”

“Stop. I want only one truth. Are we real? Did we meet because of an assignment or was it like it happened? Did we meet for real, or were you assigned to protecting me?”

“After what Kelly said I know why you are asking me this, but hearing you asking me, that hurts...Do you remember who Dr. Wallis is? He beeped me for an emergency when your father had the heart attack?”

“It was your first week in the General Metropolis. I was an assistant in the second year by the time. I was involved with the patient and you took my place.”

“So, ask me that question again and look me in the eyes... tell me I was assigned to meet you? You had just broken up with Kelly and I was not interested in a relationship. Ruby was little and my whole universe. I didn't know you were Kara’s sister, the Kara that involved the tragedy. Lena never told me her surname or that she had a sister...”

“I´m sorry, my love. Kelly story...and…this whole...

“Alex, I love you. I was not involved in any activities behind Lillian´s mission. I was just Lena´s friend that was also protected by Lillian Luthor. Andrea Rojas called me one night. Lena was asking for me. After what happened in her mansion with her brother and his business partner I left Metropolis as fast as I could. Patricia told me to never come back again. Five years later I was studying in college at the Metropolis University. One night Andrea called me that Lena was in the hospital. I met Lena at boarding school years ago and we stayed friends. My father was a rich businessman before he destroyed his company and life with alcohol and gambling. That's why…

“It's okay...I will not start to drink ever again. I promise you.”

“Lena was having a bad time in the hospital, she wanted to leave. We called her friends from college to pick her up. Her mother was in Europe at the time. We told the girls what happened. Eve and Marcy Graves told them the truth and what to do with Kara... Lex gave the order to his business partners to correct his sister's lifestyle and that was shaking for all of us... Maxwell Lord nearly killed her. He was obsessed with Lena since we were teenagers. He said if he can't have her, then no one can have her and he would kill Kara. Andrea and I chose to help Lena by claiming false news to the media when she left Metropolis.   
//  
When Lena moved to Europe we told the media she was back in Metropolis dating Andrea or some other personalities. Fake news to lockout Maxwell from his hidden place, but he never showed up. Lillian needed to make things good. Lena begged her mother before she left America to keep an eye on the Danvers family and Lena´s friends by assigning professional people, like Eve, Kelly, Shila, and some of Kara´s work colleges.”

“By professional people you mean... military, bodyguards, trained killers... Lillian was okay with Lena´s and Kara´s relationship?”

“Alex, Lillian was always okay with Lena´s sexuality. It was Lionel that implied Lex’s madness in his brain. Lillian was not a bad mother as we all thought. She was keeping Lena away from trouble since she was 11 years old. Lillian told me I had to go to her and tell her what would happen to me at Lena's birthday party. She would have killed them earlier. I was scared that no one would have believed me. No even Lena knew what happened at the time. I told her when I saw her in the hospital what they did to me. Sarcastically, they treated me better than Lena. Maybe because I was sixteen like Veronica Sinclair. I don't know. The only thing I know is that - this nightmare is going to be over as soon as Lord is in prison or dead, I don´t care.”

“How are you feeling?”

“It's more than sixteen years ago, Alex. What they did to me was a crime, but it didn't change me. I was glad that I found Kelly and Shila´s mother to take care of my dark thoughts. I had Ruby, and then I found you. You never behaved badly, not even when you were drunk. Well, maybe once when that woman hit on me, but that was sweet...I don’t want you to think that I'm fragile or broken, Alex. You will never see me cry about what happens to me, but I will tell you that it was because I kissed Lena. I don't regret anything. I wish only that we can be open with each other if you need to talk.”

“If you are okay with me not asking more questions. I would like to drink hot tea and watch a movie with my wife, and I know you are going to sleep in my arms safely. I don't have to make you talk about your past. I know you are in good hands if you need to punch a wall or cry. I will talk to Kelly and Shila tomorrow morning and ask them to stay. For you, Lena and...me.” Said Alex hugging Sam.

“Are you good?”

“I will need time to process all the information. You are here and Ruby is here that´s all I need to know. This is my life and I need to be strong, I can't run out on the street and scream. I can't go out and find those who did this to you. Maybe if I was 25 I would be irrational and start to drink and scream, start a fight with someone random in my proximity, but would it help me to feel better? Would it help you or Ruby?”

“I guess not...It would make you feel worse...Honey...about Ruby…

“This is between you and me. I will make sure she's not going to miss any father. Maybe I can be more present at her soccer games and her theater school classes. Let's see what she wants. For now, she's happy and she didn't ask about her father at least not since we are married.”

“That's because you love her so much and she loves you...”

“I love you both, very much.” Alex kisses Sam softly.

“Umm. Dr, Danvers...what kind of movie do you want to watch?”

“Well, Dr. Arias. I was thinking about a horror movie.”

“No, way Alex, you know that I don't like horror movies.

“I know...but you holding on to me tight, it's what makes me wanna watch one.” Alex smiled but also had tires in her eyes.

“Babe, look at me...I know you try to be strong for us, but you don't need to do it. If you want to scream or cry you can do it. Don't keep your feelings inside.” Sam was caressing Alex´s face.

“I'm angry. I'm...trying to figure out how human beings can be so evil. I...I love you and Ruby so much and it makes me angry that...

“Alex, look at me...You are the best, strongest, funniest, heartwarming, loving person I ever met. I never felt once unsafe in your proximity. Before you came into my life, I felt lonely and lost. I was just focused on my work and Ruby. When we started to date I was distant, but you made sure that this between us felt more like a friendship, and you were focused on making Ruby happy. Every time I watched you and our daughter play I was sure you were the one, the one I wanted to marry. Nothing that happened in the past pops up in my mind, because my life started the moment I met you.  
//  
This life is my past and my future. I love you Alex, and I don't want you to go slow or step back now that you know what happened to me. I don´t ask you to pretend I never told you or it never happened, but I ask you to talk to me every time you need to. So, if you want to cry... my arms are open...or we watch a movie and I can cuddle in your arms...come on...I watch a horror movie with you.” Said Sam smiling.

“How comes that you are the one that makes me feel better...I should be the one…

“That's because I´m your wife and I know what I need to say. Alex, don´t get me wrong but the good thing is that we complement each other very well…

“You are the strongest woman I ever met...really...I don't know how I got so, so lucky.”

“Oh, no...I'm the lucky one...Dr. Danvers.

“Is that soooo Dr. Arias…

“You look at me like the first time we meet…” Said Sam.

“Do I?” Alex smiled blushing.

“There’s one more thing that I want...”

“What…” Alex clears her throat. “What is it? What do you want? I do everything for you...”

Sam makes herself look at her. Alex wants to hide her face and look away, but somehow Alex gets the courage to look Sam in the eye when she makes her request. 

“Alex, kiss me...”

Alex's hand goes to Sam´s cheek, pulling her face up to look at her. Alex's hands slide around Sam´s neck and pull her forward. Every move Sam makes, Alex´s eyes are on her. Alex´s thumb is pacing up and down the flesh of my neck, and Sam can feel her heart racing in her chest.

“I may not be good at this...Mrs. Arias...” Alex shakes her head and smiles as if Sam doesn’t believe her. That's what Alex said the first time they kissed. Alex doesn’t say a word, just leans forward and presses her hot, firm lips to Sam´s.

The brunette expected a small kiss. She was hoping for a good one, but what Alex gives her is like nothing She'd ever imagined. Alex devours her. Takes Sam's breath and makes her feel whole. Alex pushes on Sam´s neck and angles my head, deepening their kiss. Sam moans, because how could she not, and Alex pushes her tongue between Sam´s lips.

The brunette gives in to the urge to get closer and lean forward, swinging her leg across Alex in the process.

It was a new feeling but one that is very welcome after the talk.

"Let's go to bed." Said Sam smiling.

Alex smiled back.

*****

Three days later Lena and Kara had an appointment on Shelly Island.

Kara promised Lena not to leave her side if she didn't request it. Before they entered the medical bay.   
Lena could read her mother's medical files from the last past 14 days. Since Kara came here to visit her it was like Lillian was letting go. She gave Kara the responsibility to finish what she started, as she knew that her daughter was in good hands and she would find happiness.

In the last three days, Lena and Kara had time to talk. It was difficult for both. Talking about the past. What happened at the Luthor Mansion back in Metropolis, and the hurtful break up in college. Lena couldn't believe that her mother gave Kara the responsibility to finish what she started seven years ago.

Two mystery was still in the closet. Who killed Lionel and Lex Luthor.

This was not Kara's place to tell. The truth behind false report news. Lex Luthor's death was not a suicide. 

Kara was anxious to hear or to see what would be Lena´s reaction when Lillian would tell her what really happened that morning at Luthor-Corp.

“Lena, are you okay?”

“Can you please hold my hand when we walk inside?”

“I hold your hand as long you don't let mine go.” Kara smiled.

Lena smiled back and grabbed Kara´s hand holding it tight and strong in hers.

“Ready to see your Mother?”

Lena nodded. Kara opened the door. Lillian smiled at both.

“What are my tired eyes seeing...Are you back together?” Asked Lillian.

Lena rolled with her eyes.

“We are... talking about...” Said Lena.

“That's annoying my daughter...you two look ready to make the big step…well, Kara looks much more...more mature than in college ... her dressing style is ... to my taste…

Kara rolled with her eyes. Is she fucking serious? She´s dying and she's joking about my fashion style? Asked Kara herself.

Lena sat next to her mother holding her hands. 

“How do you feel today?”

“Besides that my head is exploding...I'm happy to see you. I´m sorry if I sound like I drank a bottle of whisky, but the morphine’s are kidding in…

“It´s okay...

“Lena, don´t look at me like I´m dying today...I'm here, and you are here to ask me something important…” Said Lillian.

“I want to know...why did you kill my father...

“Once upon a time…Hate consumed me. Love wrecked me. One night I saw your father with another woman and it changed both our lives, turning our beginning into something toxic. We were poisoned together and there was no antidote. Our story began as any other fairytale ended. With a beautiful wedding. One kiss. Two rings. Three vows and two beautiful children. Lionel Luthor became my lawfully wedded husband and me his dutiful wife. But your father was no Prince Charming. He didn’t come to save me… and he vowed there would be no happily ever after. And me?  
Just like the legends I'd read as a young girl, I always thought I’d be the princess in my fairy tale. Well, he was the villain of our love story.   
//  
I loved him, but he loved many other women. He was implying Lex to take what he wanted. He told him that money rules the world and women love money. He should never love. Love was a waste of time...I caught your father and Lex talking with Maxwell Lord one night. Your father promised him that he could marry you as soon you turned 18 years old. Lex was okay because he was a business partner ad his best friend...Both had no shame as you were just a business deal for them...I promised myself that they would not ruin your life as your father did with Lex´s. Your brother was not a bad or evil child. He became evil after your father made him and implied his evilness...and when you were born it turned into jealousy because I was spending more time with you.”

“So, you tried to protect me from Lex and Maxwell Lord since you heard father talking with them?”

“Much earlier than that night, he promised to kill me if I would spend more time with you and not Lex. The look in his eyes was evil and I know he would have killed me...I killed your father the same night when Lex and Maxwell left Lionel´s office...Till death do us part…I asked Marcy and Otis to make sure that his body was found in his office. Eve saw it but didn't tell anything to your brother. Lex believed it was one of your father's affairs. The case was closed after a few months.” Said Lillian.

“Do you regret it?”

“No!!! You were my life after I lost your brother. I knew he would not be my Lex anymore after his father was dead. I lost him completely. You were the only light in my life, but I had to be hard on you. I had to push you away. I had to keep you away from that evil monster...I regret only that I didn't open my eyes sooner. I had to take you in my arms and walk away from Lionel, but I couldn't leave Lex alone. He was a teenager and I thought I could bring him back to the right path, back to...I…

“Shhh...It's okay...you are a mother…you chose to stay because you loved Lex as I did.” Said Lena.

“The morning I stormed into L-Corp and shot at the animals that hurt you and Sam...I pointed my gun at Lex. I was ready to shot but Eve stopped me...She killed Lex a few weeks later making it look like a suicide.” Said Lillian.

“I always had the feeling Lex never committed suicide. He always thought he was a God. He told me he was going to find an antidote that could give him a long life...He wanted to find the solutions for not aging...So, I never believed the police reports were accurate…

“Are you mad at Eve?”

“No!!! God, no…

“I know you still love your brother and you are still fighting with the memories of him being the best brother in the world. Reality bites Lena. I look in your eyes and I know you are in a good place now, and when I see Kara I know you two are going to be happy. Don't waste time on thoughts you can't change...Now that Maxwell Lord is in prison and is waiting for his trial and Nasty...Well, she passed away...you are free to love, you are free to love her. No one will hurt you again or will charge you for what you feel or desire...You don't need to protect Kara anymore. You are both free...

Lena looked at Kara and she smiled blushing at her mother's words.

“So, Kara, tell me... what are going to do when you are both out of my sign.” Asked Lillian.

Kara chuckled. “Excuse me?”

“Lena, is Kara deaf?” Asked Lillian.

“No! I guess that's not a question...or better she's trying to figure out what you want to know...specifically...”

“You two know...I'm in this room?” Asked Kara.

“I mean your intentions, Kara. Are you asking my daughter to marry her?”

“I...can I date her first...just to be...clear...I really, really love Lena, but we missed a lot of dates and we need to talk and…

“When does the part come that you ask her... because I don't have much time left…

“Mom?”

Kara walked to Lillian and sat next to her. “I promise you that I will make her happy.   
I don´t know when and if we are going to marry in the next few years, but I will be there for her no matter if we are together or not.  
I hope this was an accurate answer for you.” Said Kara.

Lena and Lillian smiled both.

“I can live in peace with that answer, Kara.” Said Lillian.

“Good, because I´m not very good with rushing things even if we are talking about your daughter and...I would love... to rush things with her…

“Please not in this room...I don't need to see it…” Said Lillian.

“Mother? You are...unbelievable.”

“What...the way you two look at each other is…obvious...and...

“Stop it...It's not!!!” Said Lena.

Kara blushed. Lillian was not subtle with her thoughts. The older Luthor just burst into a laugh. “Drugs are the best...don't get me wrong you should never promote me talking like this, but...Yeah...I love my daily dose of morphine.”

“Lena, is she okay?” Kara worried.

“You mean her scandalous thought about us having sex? Don't worry she was never subtitled with words. Think of her like this and multiply it with the morphine. She is double scandalous.” Said Lena laughing.

“You two should go on a dinner date and fuck like bunnies instead of being her watch me die…

“OMG!!!” Said Kara turning red like a tomato.

“Mother?” Lena looked at her mother like she was just hit by a bus.

“Lena, my beautiful Lena...I´m going to pass away soon. I know you read my files...I would do the same... it's in our DNA. We are doctors and specialists. I think you know exactly that the daily dose of morphine will soon make my heart stop beating. So, why don´t hug your mother and tell her you will miss her. You don't have to feel sorry for me, Lena. This is life and I will be soon gone, but Kara will be there and she needs you as you need her...come here...and dry your tires Lena - you look ugly when you cry…

“You are so...I love you, mom.” Lena hugged her mother.

“I love you too, my baby girl…” Lillian whispered in Lena´s ear “Don't be afraid to love. What Lex told you was just what your father implied to him. Love is real and not a waste of time...and by the way...You need to tell Kara about your disorder...” Lillian smiled when she looked at Lena again.

Lena was perplexed. How did her mother have information about her doctor in Ireland?

Lillian looked at Kara again. “It was a pleasure meeting you Kara. Finally, I could see in person why Lena admires and loves you.”

Kara gave her hand to Lillian. “It was a pleasure meeting you Lillian. Like I said I will make Lena happy and if not - I will not forget to watch up in the sky. I'm sure you will remind me to...I wish you a safe journey, Lillian.” Kara kissed Lillinas’s forehead. It was the first time that Lillian ever let someone do such a gentle gesture in years...well, not the first Danvers woman that had the capacity to make her feel good.

“Lena, I leave you alone with your mother...take your time…” Kara smiled and walked out.

…”

“She's very…

“Heartwarming, sweet, and loveable?”

“Yeah!” Said Lillian with tears.

“Mom, what do you mean by telling her...what do you know?”

“I don't think there is any need to lie anymore. Make sure not to fear, don´t push her away. There is no need to wait...Kara could never hurt someone, not even if she would try. I heard how she convinced Veronica to tell Mercy where Maxell Lord and Nasty were...Kara was able to do something that I was trying 7 years to do...She just opens her mouth and everything she says is compassion, hope, and...good I hated to say it...she's like a lovebug…She just looks at someone and you fall in love with her...she´s special, Lena." Said Lillian.

“Are trying to say you love Kara?”

“Not that way...I love her because she makes you happy. I wished I could have spent more time with her, with you...she's very attractive and...did you see her abs...Jesus christ…I mean, I would not pusher from the edge of a bed ...

“Mom?” Lena blushed. “What is with Kara that every person seems to lose their damn mind about her…” Said Lena.

“I think it's just the way she is...and the morphine’s...clearly…did you tell her about your problem?”

“No!”

“Why? She will know that something is wrong with you if you two...I mean...

“Since I met her I had this feeling that something between us was familiar...she has this aura. It's easy to love her. She makes love look easy…

“Well, love is never easy, but if you have the feeling It's easy to love her... then she´s the right one. Lionel was never my best friend. Eliza was, and I loved her...It was not sexual, but I loved her...maybe in another life or if I´m reborn, I will think about finding someone that makes me feel the way you feel, look and crave after Kara.” Said Lillian.

“I don't crave after Kara in that way. I need her near me, to hold me...but...”

“Oh, Honey...Don't waste time on horrible things...” Said Lillian.

“Maxell is still…

“In prison and he will soon die after his trial. Just forget about that pig. Life is too short to waste time, Lena.”

“Mom, if I tell her…

“Just tell her what you need. She's in love with you and who could help you if not her…You know she would never hurt you...and if you keep implying your head that you don´t want intimacy then it´s going to be a bigger problem for your relationship with Kara as you think...She will stay because she loves you but do you think she will be happy?"

“What if I can't...she will leave me…

“Lena, look at me...she will not leave you...and that´s the problem...but you will hate yourself from keeping her in the dark...”

Suddenly a prison guard came in. "Dr. Lena Luthor…It´s time.” 

Lena hugged her mother. “I love you. I will miss you...”

“I love you too, my baby. Take care of yourself...”

“I will…I will miss your late-night calls and...

“I hope...It's A nice day at my party. Baronesse Lilliana De Luca...Who chose that name...Andrea?”

“Mother? Stop being so sarcastic… you are going to die!!!"

“Goodbye, my daughter.”

“Have a safe journey...Thank you for everything...” Lena kissed Lillian´s forehead.

“Go now, let me sleep. I had enough love hugs and kisses for eternity.” Lillian smiled and closed her eyes.

“Bye mom...have nice dreams...!”

"I will...I just imagine you in a Dior wedding dress...

"OMG!!!"

"I love you!!!"

"Me too...

Lena walked out the door. Thank God Kara was standing there. Lena broke into tears in Kara´s arms. “Shh...It's okay. I've got you...It's okay, my love...I bring you home and I make you a hot tea and you can lay on the couch...Is it okay if I bring you home?”

Lena nod.

*****

Kara watched Lena clinging to the blanket on the couch like a child. She had no more tears left that day. Her eyes were red and tired. 

Kara was sitting on the couch. Lena had her head in Kara´s lap. The blonde was caressing Lena's hair and was singing like she used to do in college.

“What can I say, what can I do...  
When I'm crazy, so crazy for you...and I try not to show it, but I can't control it... I'm still madly crazy for you.  
See the birds fly, see the blue sky, see the best times of our lives...  
//  
Watch me crawl, watch me beg, watch me fall deep, cause I, I just can't stop...I just can't stop thinking about those days under sunshine, too much wine...laying in the grass, you were all mine...  
//  
So be just like heaven, what I expect...heaven will be...soaked up in love. Just you and me, heaven night you'd close your eyes on my chest  
It's like it's home and you say until that happens you just can't fall asleep...  
Lost my soul the day I met you but I know you hold me tight in your heart, now you know and I'm so sorry you had to suffer all this time...I love you.”

After two hours of holding Lena in her arms, she finally closed her eyes and fell asleep. Kara left a letter for Lena before she left her penthouse apartment.

_____

“Hello, my love...I left you something, maybe you want to read it tonight or maybe tomorrow morning. You looked very tired and...sweet...Well…I wanted to say...  
I can carry the weight around with me if you let me. Seeing you be so sad breaks my heart. How could I have ever thought you could be cold without a heart. I could...scream at myself. Learning all my lessons. Dangerous impressions. I pushed you right out of my world. To find a different result as I thought over seven years of pain. I never stopped loving you, but I also hated you for breaking up with a simple text message as If I was nothing but the next person on your list...  
//  
Anytime you need a friend, I will be the one that you want...And if you're ever down, I will be there biggin' you up. And you can lean on me anytime, for anything you want and need. I don't need a reason, memory, or a season, It's longer than always could be and further than the heart can see...Let's start the healing when you are ready. I miss our discussion in bed and the whispering and blushing, and all the secrets that only we know.

Forever yours. Kara.”

______

The next morning Lena had a breakfast date with Sam that she nearly forgot.

(Ding-Dong)

"Hi."

“Good morning to you...God, you look miserable.” Said Sam.

“I cried a lot yesterday. Kara and I went to visit Lillian. She´s…

“Okay...honey just sit, I make you a coffee…

“Thank you...by the way how did it go with Alex?”

“Umm...better than I thought. She cried and was sad, angry...and cried again, but after we had a long chat...we had the best night...including lovemaking...sex and cuddling…this morning she watching me sleep and just smiled all the time and...I fall all over in love with her again...she makes me really happy...

“I´m glad...to…

“What´s up…

“Kara´s left a letter here…

“Let me see...wow...that´s...hey...I mean, she is good with words...very good actually…wow...she´s madly in love with you...

“Sam?”

“She´s cute, carrying and she loves you…why are you making that face?”

“That's what makes me...she´s extremely carrying...everybody loves her...it's easy to love her. A lot of women and men find Kara attractive and hit on her...what if she...I'm not the kind of person that is so…God...she sang to me for two hours when I had a breakdown yesterday and her words...

“Lena, breath...you are hyperventilating...Jesus...breath…

“What if...I can’t love her the way she needs to be loved...and by the way, I love her more then my life, but she´s so...

“What are you expecting from her?”

When suddenly...

(Ding Dong)

Sam opened the door.

“Hi Eve, come in…

“Hi, Sam…

“Hello, Eve...do you feel better?” Asked Lena.

“Yeah...Siobahn really kicked my ass, but she died and I don't care anymore...So, where is badass Danvers…

“Do you mean, Kara or Alex?” Asked Sam.

“My honey booboo of course…

“She means Kara.” Lena rolled with her eyes.

“I must say...I never thought that we could stop the circle with the help of one person...God, she was not only sweet and carrying with Veronica but fuck... she´s also...a badass...you had to see when I told her...you need to keep her busy...she had everything under control, and I….fucked up…” Said Eve.

“What did she have under control?” Asked Lena.

“Seducing Siobahn...Lillian asked her to...well, whatever...Kara did it Ice cold only to catch Maxwell and her speech...wow...she could become the best spy in the world…

“She fucking lied to me???”

“Lena?” Said Sam.

“She could have been killed...what the fuck...I told my mother to protect her not to let her play Mata Hari...Kara is a reporter, not a trained...assassin like you, Eve…

“I'm not an assassin, Lena! I...I did it for you and your mother...Lillian was always good to me…Should I had let your mother kill Lex?" Lena, I know you are angry, but Kara did It for you…but this is not the point why you are angry at Kara did...Lena, what's wrong with you?” Asked Eve.

“That's the problem...she loves me more than I can give her back!!!”

Lena ran into her bedroom and closed the door.

“What the actual fuck is going on with her? We did this because of her...because she wanted to be with Kara and now…” Said Eve.

“She's overwhelmed...I know my sister-in-law and she loves hard. When she loves someone she can be overwhelming and Lena was always...the kind of type...love is bullshit and a waste of time...but I know she said to Kara that she loves her, and she does...I think Lena can´t connect her emotions with her brain...she´s fighting with her emotions. She did build a strong wall over the years...On one side she wants to be with Kara and love her, and on the other side, she desires and wants Kara…but can´t...

“That means??? Let me get this right...she wants Kara, but she doesn't want Kara to love her?? Is that a Luthor thing?” Asked Eve.

“Apparently the Luthor house was full of hate speeches and bullshit that Lena implied herself...fear to love someone...for many years there was no one showing her love. The only one that cared for her was her brother and in the end, he was the one that hurt her the most...so, put one and one together...and you have the result that's called Lena Luthor...A self-defense wall and tiny little boxes where she hides every emotion…” Said Sam.

“Should I talk to Kara?”

“About what?”

“About this problem…

“Kara had a breakfast date with Alex this morning. She came to my house smiling like a dork and she looked like she was on cloud 9...so, what do you want to tell her...Lena needs more time?”

“Umm...Sam, does Lena have a diagnostic made by Shila?”

“What do you mean, of course, she has a diagnostic...”

“Did Shila found out something like a personality disorder?!”

“What do you have in mind?”

“I mean...did she had sex or dated someone after Kara?”

“Not that I know, she was in Ireland alone...no friends, no interactions and...no she did not have anyone…

“What if she has Anhedonia…

“What is that? I´m not a Psychologist Eve, and by the way, why the hell didn’t you finish your medical degree…

“Shut up...Let me explain to you...Anhedonia is the depressive symptom analogous to anhedonia as described in the DSM-V as a loss of interest in sexual activity or not able to feel pleasure.  
Lena wants Kara to love her and she loves her too, but she doesn't want the rest...That´s why Lena thinks she can give Kara what she needs...Lena lost interest in sexual activities.

“So, when she says her body craves for Kara, what does she mean?” Asked Sam.

“Maybe, she means just have Kara near her...hold her and cuddle with her, as a best friend...but not beyond that…

“I should talk with Kelly about your theory, but you know I don't like to do it behind Lena´s back…

“Let me know the results...and I will talk to Kara...this is a job for Miss Tescmarker…

Eve walked out of Lena´s penthouse apartment. Sam tried to talk to her but Lena didn’t want to talk, so Sam left too.

Poor Lena. Too much trauma in her life. But if one person in this world could make Lena feel better; it was Miss Lovebug, Kara Danvers.

Maybe Kara could change the course of Lena´s fears and angsty if Eve’s theory was correct.

To be continued…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Ao3 reader I know the thematic is hard to read, but I promise you after we left chapter 7 of Lena´s personal disorder - part two, you are going to like the story.
> 
> So, stay tuned.
> 
> Lena´s personal disorder - part two...coming up soon...


	7. Lena´s personal disorder - part two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena´s friends will do anything for her, even if it meant doing it behind her back.  
> A call from Ireland will clear Lena´s medical condition.  
> Alex and Eve will have a brilliant idea, and it will end up with an unexpected and unusual therapy for Lena's disorder.
> 
> Will Kara trust Alex and Eve's plane?
> 
> Well, let´s find out...

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

A week later after Eve's theory and what she thought about Lena´s behavior in her apartment, Dr. Shila Shanty had a phone call with a psychologist in Ireland.

Sam and Kelly were sitting in the medical office listening to Dr. Elenor MgGregor’s diagnosis about Lena Luthor's psychosomatic symptoms.

“Thank you Dr. MgGregor. Yes, I will...Yes of course. It would be nice if It would stay between us...” Said Shila.

The phone call was over.

“Honey, what did she say?” Asked Kelly.

“First...Eve is a genius. Second how the hell is Lena such a phenomenal liar...and...If what Lena's former doctor told me is right and I guess she is... Lena remembers more about the night in Metropolis as she's willing to tell...”

“So the diagnostic made by a trained bodyguard and a killer is the correct one?” Asked Kelly.

“I mean, Eve Teschmarker went to Yale and she studied Neoruchirurgy and psychology, my love...Is not that we are idiots or something like that...As I said, Lena can hide her feelings perfectly, but not when it comes to Kara. Now that the case is nearly over she can't hide or pretend that everything is fine with her...She moved to National City to be with Kara and to make a new start. That includes not only holding hands or talking. Kara will know in a few weeks that something is not right with Lena.” Said Shila.

“Shila, was Lena drugged or not when it happened?”

“She was not...I asked the Metropolis General hospital for the old files, they came in this morning. I´m sorry Sam, but she was not...”

“Fuck…

Kelly walked to Sam and hugged her…” I know how you feel now, but she is strong, Sam. She needs to forget, and I think Kara can help her - that's why she's here. We should talk to Kara before she overwhelms Lena with her love and Lena runs away again…

“Yeah! She's already scared about Kara being too much…

“Did Lena already talk about that´s too much for her?” Asked Shila.

“Yes!”

“We should tell Alex. She should be here if Kara needs her…” Said Kelly.

“I will tell her…” Said Sam.

“Who calls Kara?”

“In that case, we should talk to Eliza too…” Said Sam.

*****

The next day Kara left her apartment early. She had an interview with Andrea Rojas in two hours. Lena asked her to promote Obsidian Tech and that was also Cat Grant´s assignment but first, she had a meeting with her sister. Kara was a little perplexed that her sister wanted to meet her at 7 a.m in the clinic. Kara drove to the clinic not thinking this was going to be one of those days that she would like to forget.

When Kara entered her sister's office she was not alone. Eliza made that face as she was about to cry and Sam was pale.

“Good morning, sis…mom...Sam...

“Good morning to you.” Said Alex.

“So, why did you want to meet me here...we could have breakfast by Alfredo…as a family all together...why are you all making that face...Is it because of Lillian?

“No!!! Kara, sit please and...read this patient file and tell me what you think about it…

“Okay…I didn't know you need my consult...I´m a reporter...

Twenty minutes later.

“This is a lot to digest, Alex, but why are you showing me this…?”

“You probably saw that the file you are holding has no name on it, and it's an old diagnostic, but you can read who the doctor was…

“Dr. McGregor´s Ireland Cork...And it was made seven years ago...”

“Did Lena tell you where she was over the years?”

…”

“Kara?”

“Is this Lena´s diagnostic?”

“Yes!”

…”

“Kara, talk to me…

“Everything I will do or I will say...will make it worse…I love her, Alex...what does it mean for the future...does it mean...

“Not everything is lost, Kara...It will be hard but not impossible. I tell you now what you are going to do...Do you know why people love you, Kara?”

“I think because I'm friendly and I'm...me…

“Do you know what Lena needs?”

“After I read this...probably not someone that wants to have more than a friendship…

“It's A little more complicated than that, but yes, she needs a friend that doesn't go any further...her heart wants everything, the whole spectrum of having a relationship with you. You have her heart you need now to infiltrate her brain like a little lovebug.”

“Lena is good at hiding things and her feelings...she was so...she was telling me all those things that she wanted me, and that she craves for me…

“She does...but not physically...that´s what her hearts want, but not her brain...She´s standing on a long bridge of emotions. On the one side of the bridge, you are standing there...Kara the love of her life. Cute, loveable, heartwarming loving Kara, full of love and desire for her. On the other side, there is darkness, her trauma, and also the treat that her brother made...The trauma is deeper than we thought and pleasure became for Lena something she erased from her system. What she needs is a friend. If you can control your desire and words, you can walk a little near...step by step you can reach Lena on that bridge and bring her home. As long you show her too much affection in an amorous way she will never find the courage to escape her mental torture chamber.” Said Alex.

“I´m glad you told me…

“Well, your sister-in-law thought if you hear it from me you would understand better...and she cares about you two...Kara, I didn’t know until yesterday evening...I´m sorry you have to go through this to be with her. You could choose not to…

“What? No! I love her...if It means I need to be just her friend I do it...and if it means that we are going just to be friends I will not try to push her in any direction she doesn't want to go...I love her and it will never change my feelings for her...I would do anything for her…

“Even if it means not to love her and just be the BFF…

“Yes!”

“Then my dear sister...you are much stronger than me because I would already punch that wall and started to cry. If I would read that file and I knew them...I'm not okay Kara...I'm dealing also...but not the way...When I read those files...I...

“It's okay...you have enough to deal with your own fears Alex...any suggestions what can help?”

“Yes, remember the way she did fall in love with you!”

“That is easy…” Said Kara smiling.

“Let me guess...you were a clown and a dork?”

“She thought I was a disaster in beer pong and also my skills in poker play, game nights, and last, but not least in sports…

“Perfect...what about your skills in music and singing…

“She likes that...

“I know...they opened a Karaoke bar downtown and maybe we could go all together to have a few drinks, maybe once in a while, and by the way did you read point nr 7 on her diagnostic?” Asked Alex.

“Umm...Previous trauma or bad experiences. Bad experiences or traumas in the private and sexual sphere can affect and generate a post-traumatic relationship with sex in the person who is subject to them. Jealousy is likely in this case to help to stimulate the lust if the patient feels that their partner may leave them for another partner.” Read Kara out loud looking at her sister. “Are you out of your mind?”

“Why?”

“Making Lena Jealous is not what...besides...Lena was always jealous...and...her reaction when I told her that I kissed and had sex with Siobahn was odd...Like it was okay for her, but deep inside she was...like a volcano about to explode. In college, she would have kicked my ass, but on that day she just...she was okay…I told her that I love her...

“See...if you can look pleased with point 9 on that file you get your answers…

“Wait a moment...she´s okay for me having sex with another individuum but...she wants to hear I love her? This is…

“Sick`Yes, It's called sexual disorder…

“Oh, not on my watch…

“Then...Eve has a plan…

“Eve??? Eve Tescmarkers planes are...including...Oh, no...nope...

“She called a friend…

“A friend?

“Someone you will meet soon and in the meantime, we called all your besties from college. We are going to have a party soon.”

“You all planned this...and I'm the guinea pig?”

“Oh, no! You are a mission-code named “lovebug''. That's how Eve called it…

“You know she...crazy, and you all are crazy...Lena is going to kill me when she awakens her old self...you don't know how she is...she...she's a jealous girlfriend…

“Good... I can´t wait to see the old Lena Luthor in action...we all are…Kara, the point here is not that Lena doesn't love you...we are talking about intimacy...

“Tell me that I get a nice funeral with the song over the rainbows...you are kidding me…

“Do you want Lena completely back or do you want to help yourself for the rest of your life?”

“No! Can you please...mom is here...”

"Don´t worry sweetheart...I heard a lot...just don´t worry...I´m not even here..." Said Eliza.

I can see you. Thought Kara.

“Good, then be the best friend and make sure you look hot when you meet Diana.”

“Diana...sounds like an escort…

“She's not an escort...she´s a friend of Gayle, Leslie and Imra told me, Eve.”

“Wait a minute...Diana Prince? Like the hottest woman on earth, besides Lena of course...you mean Lena´s...They couldn’t stand each other in college…

“And why is that?”

“Because...long story short, Diana kissed me and Lena was jealous, very, very jealous...they were both in the Olympic team and...well...it became a kind of a competition between the two…

“Good.”

“Good? Have you ever seen how two young women fight with a sword? I had to hide for days...after the team trainer told them to cool off. The trainer looked at me as she was about to kill me...

“It's like in the old days of Camelot...wow...and you are Guinevere...that's so romantic…” Alex laughed out loud. Sam just shakes her head holding Eliza´s hand.

“It's not funny, Alex…we are going to awaken Lena´s old war with Diana...

“Tell me that when Lena is going to jump your bones and now...go, you have an appointment with Andrea Rojas…

“Fuck...Shit...see you later…By mom...By Sam love you...

“Bye Lovebug.” Said Alex looking at her mother and Sam.

“Shut up…Alex...I don´t know if this is a good idea." Said Sam.

"Do you trust me?"

"Always..." Said Sam.

Lena´s friends had this brilliant idea after consulting Lena´s old psychologist to open her eyes. Kara could fall in love with someone else, but to overcome her trauma it needed to be someone from her past before she was sexually harassed. Before her life became hell. Where she was a strong independent young woman, where she knew what she wanted...and that was Kara.

Diana Prince was someone that Lena didn’t hate to death, she just hated to see her near Kara. Jealousy is not a good emotion or therapy to help a relationship grow, but in this case, it would raize the endorphins, lust, and the need to have Kara more than just a friend. Losing Kara was Lena´s biggest fear and being just friends wouldn’t mean that Kara´s attention and love would vanish with time...Kara would give more attention to someone else in the future. That would break Lena´s heart all over again.

Mission Lovebug started and Lena was in the dark.

On the same day, Kara called Alex to wait for the whole mission. She wanted to try alone first...Well, that was a disaster...

*****

One month later.

(Ding-Dong)

“Kara?”

“Can I come in…

“Of course…” Said Sam.

Alex looked at Kara. “I guess your plan is not working.”

“Nope...she told me the dinner was lovely and she was tired…

“And last week?”

“She had a migraine and she was tired...yesterday and the day before...

“I told you...she will just be a friend!”

“I did that...but hey...I don´t have any sexual disorder I´m...as fuck.” Said Kara knowing Ruby was in the kitchen.``

Ruby chuckled.

“Oh, that´s so mature, Kara…Are you sixteen or what?” Said Sam.

“Excuse me...but I guess you and my sister are not so subtle in this house…

“Kara? stop it…” Said Alex.

“Okay...I know I am a woman...but can you die from sexual frustration?”

"Ugh!!!" Sam.

“No!, Kara...you can´t die from sexual frustration...I could die hearing this bullshit...kill me please, honey...can you please…

“Oh, no...she's your sister...and I´m going to take a bath...I don't want to be disturbed…hearing that shit makes me want to punch her...”

“Honey, please…

“Alex, we already told her what to do...but apparently your sister doesn’t want to play her part in this mission...so, she should die happy…and frustrated..."Said Sam.

“Thank you, I love you too…” Said Kara grumpy.”

“Kara, it´s a fucking theater...you don´t need to sleep with Diana…

“Really...the last time I heard this bullshit...I had to sleep with Siobahn to finish a mission…

“This is not the same...I know jealousy is not therapy, but it will help Lena going back in time when she wanted you all the time…

“That's...the truth...God, we had so much…fun...

“Sex?”

“Yes! Well, not only, but...”

“You are done with talking?”

“Yesss…

“So, does that mean...I can call Eve?”

“Pleaseeeee...

Ruby giggled.

“Ruby, are your math homework done?” Asked Alex.

“No, Mom…

“Oh, that's...a great time for you to finish them in your bedroom…

“Ugh...now?”

“Yes, now…

“Good night aunty Kara.”

“Good night big girl…

“Apparently my mom’s think, that I´m still little…

“In my eyes always...good night Ruby…

“Love you too...Good night Mom…

“Love you…” Ruby kissed Alex on the cheek.

…”

“Well, you know she's sixteen?”

“And you know what kind of age that is, Kara? She´s mutating into a horny teenager...so shut up, you are not better…

“Relax mama bear...she doesn’t have a boyfriend yet.” Said Kara.

“She didn’t mention boyfriends...and besides that...we think...better - I think it´s Tracy...I think she´s experimenting with Tracy…

“Oh, wow...I mean you two don't want to be worried about...you know…

“Kara, that´s not the point...we would like to know...we don´t care if it´s a boy or girl...we would like to know if she does have sex...We don´t want her to do it in secret or...not in a safe place…

“You are every day more like Eliza...where was this Alex in your past days...I can remember that mom didn’t have the numbers on her daughter...Exes…

“That Alex was not nice and an asshole...Not everyone is like Kara Danvers…

“Auch...that was low…

“No, what I meant was - that I would have liked me to be more like you...

“And here we are...me being inpatient with Lena…

“That´s different...you two love each other and of course you want to be intimate with her. That's normal Kara. It's like Sam would tease me all day and I come home and she falls asleep and imagining she would do that for weeks...I would climb the walls like Linda Denise Blair in The exorcist or take ten showers a day and increase the water supply…”

“Oh wow...you still watch horror movies with her?”

“Yes...Sam loves them…

“Yeah...I guess she loves the plot and the outcome...do you even watch ten minutes of the movie?”

Alex smiled. No comment.

“Yeah...I thought so...so, your sex therapy are horror movies and mine must be Diana Prince...that´s…

“The only way...we talked with a specialist before we were shore, Kara. We would not do it if it would put in danger your relationship with Lena and besides that...you are friends nothing more...at the moment, and it will stay in status “Best Friends” Forever...and one day you will end on being so mad that Lena. You will look to find someone else even if you love her. Lena will leave her life knowing she couldn’t change it, and you will end this story because you will want her so much in a way she will never allow herself to be in. You two will have fights and hate each other...she will leave again, and...end of the story.”

Panic in Kara´s eyes.

“End of the story? Nope…

“So, are you in, or not in?”

“Yes!”

“Good...I call Eve…

“Ugh...Yes...do that...”

“Good, and now go home it's late.”

“Okay. Tell Sam I love her…and I´m sorry...

“I will, Good night, Kara.”

*****

Two weeks later.

Karaoke bar in downtown Nacional City.

The ladies went all out to have a few drinks. Even Eliza went to have a night out. Lillian´s funeral was the week before and everyone was a little off...Lena didn’t want to go first, but Eliza remembered Lena that her mother wanted her to live and not to hide anymore and she had enough time to grieve over the weeks.   
Lena was a doctor she knew it was time the end was near and she cried enough. Eliza told her to remember only the good memories and the truth.   
Lillian loved her and that was the only truth she needed to know.

Lena looked around and Kara was not to find. She knew that she had a job assignment out of Nacional City, but it was a Saturday night, she thought she would be there too.

“Is Kara not here?” Lena asked.

“We didn’t speak to Kara. She didn't come home - apparently, she's still in Gotham City.” Said Alex.

"What?" Asked Lena.

“Mom, did you hear something from Kara?” Asked Alex.

“Oh, she called me this morning. She was staying a night longer...she did meet an old friend from college.” Said Eliza.

“Oh...did she, who?” Asked Lena.

“Someone from the (MIT)” Said Eliza.

Lena raised her eyebrows…” Who?”

Lena was interested…

“Umm...wait I look on my phone... she did send me a photo…” Here…

“Diana Prince?” Said Lena…

“Do you know her?”

“If I know her??? Oh, she´s fucking kidding me...Sam, moves your ass we are flying to Gotham City now…

“Lena? Are you out of your mind...Jesus...what should happen...they are friends…

“Oh, no...they are not friends! She's like a medusa and octopussy that kissed Kara...Oh, no. no…not on my watch...” Said Lena.

“Lena...you acting like Kara would cheat on you...chill.” Said Sam.

“I can´t...and maybe...I mean...fuck.” Said Lena.

“Lena…what is wrong?” Asked Kelly

“Nothing...I...I go home…” Said Lena.

“Wait...you just go here...do you want me to go home with you?” Asked Sam.

“If Alex doesn't mind?”

“Nope, no problem...what are friends for, Lena…

“Thank you.” Said Lena.

Mission Complete...was it that easy?

*****

Lena and Sam walked home in silence. Eve was always near them...somehow her mission was over and the only family member she had left was Lena. So, she kept having an eye on her trying to find out what was the next or the best thing to do for her future.

When Lena and Sam arrived at her apartment she looked at Eve. Lena made a sign she could leave, she was safe. Eve nods and leaves finding Winn Schott outside waiting for her.

"Hi!"

“I thought you left Mr.Schott?” Asked Eve.

“Umm...at first I wanted to leave and then I thought...why? I have no family. Brainy is here and he's happy. James went back to the military and he has Lucy...Otis and Marcy who know where they are and my friends are here. I love working for Cat Grant...and you are here.” Said Winn nervously.

“Winn?”

“No...let me explain...I never told you...I thought I was not your type or not interesting enough for the genius in our troop...you are strong and you don't need someone like me...I'm just an IT guy and I have...I don't have anything interesting on me...and…

“Can you stop talking so condescendence about yourself...you are a lovable guy and I never said that you are not interesting...we worked together and that was not what I was focused on over the years...my brain was not blind, Winn...you are a genius in your own way and that makes you sexy...So, we could talk all night outside Lena´s apartment and watch Kara walking in two minutes inside that building, our we could have a few drinks and talk about what's next…

“You mean...like a date?”

“Yes!”

“That's...I think Kara...can manage to walk alone inside that building.”

“I think she can...

Winn smiled and gave Eve his hand...Where does Miss Teaschmaker want to go?”

“Umm...Let me think...do you remember that little bar where Otis and I had a huge fight with the owner?”

“Oh, no...please...I had to save your ass...before the police came…

“Well…

“Okay...but you behave...or…

“You know...maybe I want to say sorry...but...maybe not…

“Do I need to expect or the first date to be in jail…

“Umm...No...I keep you safe…

“You promise...I'm not good with fighting...I'm not that brave...I'm just…

Eve kissed Winn before he could say something more stupid...He was brave and not like he was thinking of himself…” So, are you done…Winn...my little awkward brave...lovable and cute...

“Yes Ma'am!” Said Winn smiling.

“Good…” Even and Winn walked away when Kara waited for Sam to send her a text message.

KD: Sam I´m here.  
SA: Good.  
KD: Is she okay?  
SA: Yeah! Well, be prepared to get a punch in your face.  
KD: That´s bad!!!  
SA: Well, she is trying to open a wine bottle and the bottle is winning at the moment...I think the bottle is going to be smashed on the kitchen table...  
KD: That double bad!!!”  
SA: Move your ass up here.  
KD: Okay...

(Ding-Dong)

“Do you expect someone?” Asked Sam.

“No, but if it's EVE I don't want any of her speeches tonight…I´m in a good mood for a fight...

“Okay...chill girl…” Sam opened the door…” Kara?”

Lena realized her eyes and looked at Kara.

“Hey...I took a taxi from the airport to drive to the Karaoke bar, but Alex told me Lena didn't feel well, so I came here to make sure she was okay…”

“She´s okay, don´t worry…Are you, okay darling??? Asked Sam worried.

“Oh, you think I´m okay???” Lena walked to Kara and slapped her face.

Sam wanted to laugh but…” Okay...I leave alone...nope...I call a taxi down starts...whatever you two do please don't kill each other...see you tomorrow Lena. Sam closes the door…and called Alex to pick her up.

Kara was standing in front of Lena. She didn't say a word. Lena crossed her arms, but soon after she hugged Kara and told her tight, she was sorry.

It felt surreal and paradoxical for Kara that Alex and Eve were right, and then she opened her mouth.

“Honey are you okay?” Asked Kara.

“I'm so sorry Kara…

“I was just two days away...what happened? Why did you slap my face?”

“It was a rush of jealousy...I'm an idiot…I´m so, so sorry darling."

“A rush of jealousy...why?”

“Your mother showed me a picture of miss octopussy...Diana Prince...that...she´s…

“Nice…

“What do you mean she's nice…she´s a bitch and her smiling face...

“Darling...do you remember why I was in Gotham City?”

“Well, not to be with Diana...Did you kiss her or…?”

“No! Why should I...Oh, please does this have something to do with her kissing me in college?”

“Yes…

“Oh, honey...It was Truth or Dare...she's married.”

“She's married?”

“Yes, with Bruce Wayne!!”

“Oh, the interview...Bruce Wayne...you had an assignment with Wayne Enterprise…Well...Where the heck did you see Diana...if you had an interview with Wayne...

“Yes, and I met Bruce Wayne´s wife...It's Daina Prince...both invited me to dinner. That's why I stayed longer, but I took the last plane to come home...I missed you very much…

“I missed you too…

“Okay...I think it's late and I don´t...I should go home…

“Kara...wait...can you please sleep here tonight…It's late and you look tired.”

“I have no...I mean I have no PJ's here and all my stuff is at home…

“I have PJ's here and I have all you need in my bathroom…

“Okay...if you want me to stay...I stay…

“Thank you.”

It was the first night since Lena came back into her life that Kara had the feeling that everything was good. Lena was holding tight on her like a koala bear.

And then the unexpected came...finally...halleluiah...Kara was about to die. Maybe she was dead and this was the final place where she wanted to be great and in peace.

Lena took Kara's face in her hands gently, squeezing her eyes shut and quickly pressing their lips together. A noise of surprise, muffled by their kiss escaped Kara and she tensed at first before finally seeming to relax.

She wasn’t sure how long the kiss lasted. When Lena pulled away, she opened her eyes-of which shifted to rest on Kara

The halfling’s eyes were wide, and her face was mostly red. “...I love you.”

Kara looked down.

“I...didn’t know. How long I had to wait until you..?”

“A while...If you wouldn't have seen Diana again...” Lena's voice was quiet.

“Do you really..?”

Nod.

“I’ve never thought that you being jealous would help us...but I guess...”

“H-huh?”

“Lena, it was something that was planned...like a therapy...”

“I guess Sam or Eve found out what was wrong with me...” Lena answered.

Kara smiled and took Lena´s hand in her own. She raised an eyebrow. “Anything else you need to tell me?”

Lena shook her head, gently squeezing Kara´s hand. “You?”

“Besides that, I thought I had to imagine loving you without laying with you in bed and you’re surprisingly tender tonight? Nah...”

"You like being slapped again?"

"Nah...

"Good, don´t bring up the name Diana Prince ever again...

"Oh, is my Girlfriend jealous?"

"Maybe...and the kind you don't want to have around you...

"Can I tell you a secret..."

"What?"

"When Diana kissed me in College...she didn't like me...she did only want to make you jealous...She had a crush on you..." Kara had to laugh.

"You mean...OMG...

"Yeah! But hey...I told her we are going to invite her to our wedding…

“You are a dork...I hate you…

“No, you don´t…

“No...I don't hate you...Kara, you know...I mean, it will take time for me…

“It's okay...we can do it when you are ready...I mean, you were not fast in college. It took a while for us…

“A while? It was two months after we met???”

“And that's eight weeks long, Lena...I mean some people jump in after one date or two dates…maybe three dates...

“I´m not…

“I know...and I promise you I will not initiate something you are not comfortable with...I will wait and when you are ready we are going to be ready together. I feel much better now that I know the whole truth...I was frustrated and I thought….you wouldn't love me the way I did...I didn't know you had a personal disorder…

“And I'm the one that had to tell you, and...did you read my file?”

“Yes...Alex gave me your file and...please don´t be mad at them or...we all love you, Lena. You are my life and I know everything...I'm not fragile, even if I really want to scream...but if we are going to be together...we need to be open with each other...and I mean also the bad and ugly stuff…and of course we need to talk about your disorder...

“Are you okay with waiting a little longer?”

“If you are okay with me having more than once in a day a shower without you asking me if I had someone in my bed…

“About that...I know about Siobahn...I know what you did…

“Ugh...please don't remind me of that…

“I´m sorry…

“I'm not sorry...let's close all chapters...look at me...until the trial is not over I want you to focus on your work and your health...I want you to go out with me and remember how much fun it was to be Lena Luthor the sexiest woman in the universe and the charming Lena and the funny...well, funny in your own way...did I ever tell you that your sarcasm...is odd...a little snobby, but sexy…

“Umm...do you want to sleep on the couch…

“Oh, no...It's so warm and cuddly here…

“I love you, Kara…

“And you are lucky that I love you very much, Dr. Luthor…” Kara kissed Lena softly not long, but enough to put a smile on Lena´s face and make her laugh.

“Good night dork…

“Good night L...my love.”

Kara wanted to say something else, but Lena hated her pet name... when she called her Lee... so, Kara didn't…and laugh softly in Lena´s ear...

"Kara?"

"Yes!"

“It was Leslie...Am I right?”

“I don't know what you talking about…” Said Kara, closing her eyes smiling.

To be continued...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like this chapter.
> 
> Stay tuned for Lena´s surprise birthday party.
> 
> Vespina.


	8. A gift with a great meaning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It´s Lena´s surprise birthday party, and Kara will give her a present that will have a great meaning for Lena.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The 24th of November.

Two mouths after Kara's jealousy therapy.

The morning of Lena´s surprise birthday party.

"Kara, you can't even hang streamers up straight. " Andrea snickered as Kara hung up streamers that would look better if a five-year-old did it. Today was Lena´s birthday so Andrea called Sam, Kara and her friends to help her. Andrea thought Obsidian had a big room for all the guests and it was a pleasure for her to hold the party for her best friend.

Andrea regrets ever asking Kara. She can't decorate for shit.

Sam ordered the big cake that looked amazing and the party service was very tasty. Kara felt like that cake was testing her control over herself.

"Kara, I warn you...eyes away from that cake!" Said Sam.

"Winn! Catch me I'm falling! " Kara fell back from the step stool Eve handed her, taking down all of the streamers she had been putting up. If there was a god out there, Andrea thanks him for this gift to the world. Those streamers were so crooked that he felt bad for the streamers!

"Thank you for tearing down all of your streamers for me, Kara. " Andrea grabbed the streamer roll from the heap on the floor some would argue was a person but she thought it was a giant ball of disappointment that couldn't even hang up streamers.

Ten hours later.

Kara invited Lena out for a romantic dinner date...well, that was not quite what it was...Kara remembered that Lana hated surprises, hoping she would like this one.

"Babe, what are we doing here?"

"Oh, Andrea wanted to see you and give you a birthday present...she just texted me to come over...and then we can go to our dinner date...It just takes two minutes...come on...

"Okay...she could have given it to me tomorrow...

"You know how she is...

"Extra...

"Yes...

Kara and Lena were walking inside Obsidian tech to reach Andrea´s office.

In the meantime...

"Andrea, what time is it? " Sam asked.

Alex took her phone out of her pocket and put it back into her pocket " 7:25... "

"Five minutes guys."

"Okay, I'll turn off the lights you all hide..." Said Andrea.

Andrea was cut over by the overly excited child. She meant Eve yelling as loudly as she could "BUT ANDREA I GOT CONFETTI POPPERS! " she held up her hands which had a party popper between each finger. She looked kinda like Wolverine.

"Go hide! I'll turn off the lights. "Andrea said more sternly than before. After all, to control children, you need to be stern.

"Fiinnee...Miss Rojassss! " Eve half assuredly hid half of her body behind the curtain.   
Her whole body wasn't even behind. Her left side was sticking out that Winn had to push her inside. Eve thought Winn wanted to initiate a kissing marathon. 

Andrea flicked out the lights and her under the present table. She had no idea where Sam and Alex were until she looked next to the front door.   
They had buried themself in scarves, gloves, and jackets. "Pss, what the fuck..." Andrea rolled her eyes.

The door finally opened after five agonizing minutes. " Andrea...! Why are the lights out, darling?" Asked Lena.

"SURPRISE LENA!"

Everyone jumped out of their hiding spots and went to hug Lena for another year without being alone or being killed or being without Kara.

Lena smiled her grin that Kara fell in love with. " Shucks guys, thanks. Kara, did you plan all of this? " Lena hugged the blonde and nuzzled her nose into the crook of Kara´s neck.

"Well, I did, but without Andrea and Sam...It would be half as perfect " Kara felt proud that Lena appreciated the party.

"HOLY SHIT! IS THAT DIANA!?" Asked Lena.

"Honey...It was...Eve plan...remember!!! If you want to kill her, do it after I had a few dumplings...I can see blood in an empty stomach..." Said Kara.

Lena just walked to Diana and hugged her...It was a long hug... too long...okay...Kara was now the one with a problem.   
Lena and Diana looked at Kara´s face and started to laugh out loud. Diana introduced Lena Bruce Wayne, her husband...

Lena couldn't believe it...everyone was there. Leslie, Gayle, and Imra...Her old athlete's team and her female team trainer...Jack and his wife...Grace and Julia...Eliza...Nia, Brainy...everyone that made her happy and kept her safe...Even the grumpy twins the Graves were there...They told Lena... just for her security. Lena kissed them both on the cheek and smiled. "Thank you!"

"Hey, Hey...go and have fun..." Said, Mercy...Otis cried like a baby...

Lena walked to Kara and hugged her from behind. "Thank you, my love..."

"You are not angry at me?"

"Umm...no...but you know I hate surprises...

"Well, I have another for you...

"Another? What can be more surprising as this?" Asked Lena.

"I wrote this...I hope you like it...Nia and I made a few pieces of research and If you want we can give it to a publisher...but only if you are okay with it...

"What is it...

"Open it...

"A book...Kara... where did you get this photo from?"

"Your old driver Albert did give it to me...I thought you would like to have it...

"On the front page...Lillian and I...and her life as...Kara... these are memories of my mother, her work, and when she worked as a professor at the university...I didn't know she had a secret journal...you are...I love you so much...Thank you!" Lena said hugging Kara tight.

"I love you too...so, you like it...I didn't know...

"Oh, baby...I love it..." Lena kissed Kara. Eliza, Sam, Andrea, and Alex had little tears running down their cheeks...

When suddenly...

"Hey, Luthor...you two are not alone here, get a room." Said Leslie smiling.

"Shut up, Leslie..." Said Lena smiling.

"Make me...You want a round of beer pong?"

"Okay...Me and Andrea against you and Gayle...

"Okay...the price is Kara...as always...you were just lucky that she fell in love with you..."

"No way...she mine, Leslie..." Said Lena, smiling at Kara.

..."

"Umm...baby...did you bet on me in college?"

"What me? No...no...I can't remember...Leslie is drunk…you know how she is...

“I´m not...Lee…” Said Leslie.

"Lena? Where are you going...wait..."

Everyone laughed at that…

_____

The party was over and Kara brought Lena to her apartment.

Lena flops down across Kara's lap and wraps her arm around her neck. “You get to sit here and enjoy yourself. Here,” Lena gently shakes the bottle next to Kara´s face. “Relax I don't bite...here drink this...It's tasty...Andrea gave me this scotch bottle for my present...It´s very expensive...”

Kara rolls her eyes and wraps an arm around Lena´s torso, pulling her closer. Her skin was warm and she was drunk. 

Kara took a large gulp and nearly dies which, of course, sets Lena off in a fit of laughter.

“What the fuck is this... poison?” Kara chokes out. “And how much can it cost?” Kara´s throat feels like it's on fire, it's burning so badly.

Lena snorts. “No idea?' And about...” Lena pauses, thinking back. “Half the bottle? Give or take a bit? You're such a pussy, it can't be that bad...We drank this at boarding school” Lena takes the bottle from Kara, pulling a face as she sniffs it.

“Wow, this stuff smells like shit. I can´t remember it smelled like this...” Lena sips it, drinking a lot less than Kara did, and pulls another face. This one a mixture of impressed amazement and gross disgust. “I probably shouldn't have added the extra...of me telling you we drank this at boarding school,” Lena said smiling.

Lena leans forward and kisses the side of Kara´s head lightly as she presses the bottle back into her hands.

“Yeah, baby you should probably drink a little slower...” Kara whispers. “Don't you think?” Kara bites lightly on the tip of Lena´s ear before she is half tempted to shove Lena off.

Lena feels like a planet; floating up in space and spinning in circles. She snorts, laughing at herself, and then takes another sip. Kara throws Lena a weird look. A 'what the fuck is wrong with you' look. It's much different from the normal look Lena receives.

Kara was becoming acutely aware of all the places Lena's hands were touching her body. Of how comfortable her weight on her lap is. The heat coming from her body.

Lena starts to trail her fingers up and down Kara´s stomach but she distractedly slaps softly a hand over Lena´s hands...

That's not fair, Kara thinks as she took the bottle from Lena´s hands and put it down beside her.

Lena leaned forward and pressed her face to Kara´s neck.

Still, no response coming from Kara. Lena huffs in frustration.

Lena opens her mouth and bites Kara´s neck.

“Lena, what the fuck?” Lena doesn't stop though. She keeps biting along Kara´s neck. Licking over the sore spots and then sucking them harshly. Fuck, she really wants Kara. Right now.

Lena wraps her other arm around Kara´s leg, feeling her way up her thigh to her ass, and hums deeply.

“Lena...” Kara breathes heavily, trying to hold her moans in. “Lena, fuck. You are drunk...”

“Don't care...” Lena mumbles into Kara´s neck.

Lena slides off Kara´s lap and grabs a hold of her hand, pulling her up. She keeps a hold of it as she leads them to the bedroom, ignoring the string of knowing looks she gets from Kara. Lena doesn't care though.

They stumble on the way and then Kara back on Lena, wrapping her arms around her from behind and catching her hands right into her wrists. "Baby, you are drunk...It wouldn't be the same...I don't want it to be this way...not after what I know...I love you, and if you love me too...you are going to stop now...

Lena rolls her eyes, “Such a way with words...Mrs. Danvers...”

Kara doesn't even respond. Just rests her head back and closes her eyes. Lena looked at Kara. She's gonna have a killer hangover in the morning and she's the one that’s gonna have to deal with it.

"I´m sorry, my Love." Said Lena hugging Kara.

"It's okay...come I put you in bed...

"Can you hold me tight...

"Yes, I can do that...but first I need to get you out of your killer shoes and maybe we keep the dress on...

Kara put Lena in bed and came back from the kitchen with a bottle of water, a glass, and an aspirin...“Here,” she holds out the bottle and Lena frowns up at her. “For your hangover, dumbass...”

"I guess...I am...

Lena takes it, drinking half the bottle before leaning back against the cushion, falling asleep almost immediately.

Kara spends the next hour vehemently plotting her revenge as she assures Lena she's not dying...Kara decided to ignore the fact that she was horny as fuck, and instead, she watched a Disney movie until she fell asleep by the sound of a sweet snore.

The next morning they had a lovely breakfast. Lena needed to say sorry a million times. They spend two hours watching a stupid movie that both didn't really watch. Both in silence. Len sat next to Kara close, very close...maybe too close. Closer than last night. The blonde remembered Kelly's words don't initiate any intimacy only if Lena is the first. Well, fuck she was initiating a lot of things.

“Lena, wait…

“I don't want to talk. I need you. Why don't you understand that…

“You want me in what way? What is that you want? Sex?”

“Yes!”

“Okay…

“Kara…

“Are you sure...you are not going to slap me or drink again...

“I...please...I need you…

Kara took Lena´s hand and moved into the bedroom.

Kara missed Lena´s worship and adoration, nothing more. That´s why she agreed to sleep with her. She knew this was a big step and she would have to work, but it was Lena. At this point she was scared and it was the first time after college.

With risk came success. With success came joy. She could use a little joy in her life.

Kara wasn’t feeling particularly brave or strong.

To achieve a different result, she had to do something different. She desperately craved for Lena. No, not just craving, but the complete opposite of what she had, she was in love with her. Therefore she had to do something different.

Maybe…maybe it was time to go against her instincts and do what came unnaturally.

Yes. Yes! That was what she would do. What came unnaturally. Starting today.

Fresh start…fun…spontaneous…wild. No more regrets.

Stop apologizing? Yes! For sure she thought. What was said was said. New Kara would stop trying to rebuild a relationship that was ruined by others and start trying to build a stronger one. No, not trying. Doing. She wouldn’t sulk or cry. Ever. She would go full in.

Definitely!

So, yes, she would do this have sex...but she didn't want to...she was waiting for another word that Lena´s used to tell her and other words that were not sex...

Today, Lena´s reaction to Kara´s endearing shyness and unintentional reaction had shocked her. Somehow Lena turned Kara on so fiercely she’d felt as if years had passed since she’d last felt this way. But then, everything about her most recent encounter with Kara had shocked Lena.

Control had been beyond her, she’d hardened instantly.

She had yet to recover from the past, but she also craved for Kara, and this more than just cuddling.

Kara and Lena were standing in the bedroom looking at each other. This was a mess. This was by far a real dilemma. Both looked at each other as it was the first time. With Lena's eyes, lips, and her mouth craving for a kiss, she reminded Kara of a living doll. Kara really wanted to sleep with her. But she wouldn’t. Ever. She was too warm, too sweet, and non–ice queens tended to cling after sex. 

Kara barked out a laugh, surprised, amazed, and delighted by Lena all over again. Kara definitely needed professional help.

"Lee...I can´t...

Lena's eyes widened. “My pet name. I hate that name, Kara.” When Kara stared at her, expectant, she cleared her throat. “Right!!!" The color returned to Kara´s cheeks, a sexy blush spilling over her skin.

"I´m here because I love and I don't know where to start with the walk of shame."

"Stop!"

"I´m...It's not your fault, and I don't know what could have happened if you would have told me...I think...I could have killed him myself."

"I was his sister, Kara. So, think about what he has done to you! I had to break up with you..."

"Lena, this is the saddest story two people can go through. I am willing to love you...I have so much love to give you, but you need to tell me. You need to believe that my love will never end. You need to believe I will never hurt you...but you need to tell me when to stop...and I don´t want it to be just sex..."

"I´m...

"Scared? Me too, but together we can go true to this trauma. We can help each other...we are going to do this slow, very slow...

"Make love to me…the same way you did it the first time…

These were the words Kara needed to hear. As soon as the door shuts behind them, Lena finds herself pressed softly up against the door.

“You are so beautiful,” Kara said, running her fingers down both of Lena´s cheeks. Then Kara touches Lena´s neck and pulls her closer to her.

“Kara...” Lena breathe.

“Lee” Kara whispers intensely.

Kara kisses Lena. It’s more intense than any other both shared in the past. Kara pulls Lena´s clothes open and down Lena´s arms, letting them pool at her feet. Every piece of her clothes was off. Lena started to take Kara´s clothes off. Kara kneeled in front of Lena´s and kissed her hip before licking her center.

“Oh, God,” Lena moans, her hands on Kara's hair.

“God’s not here right now, my love" Kara said before burying her face in Lena´s cunt and eating her slowly. Lena throws her head back as she comes, forgetting she's up against the bedroom door.

Kara stands then and kisses Lena before leading her over to the bed. Kara sat down and settled Lena on her lap. Lena was wet and this was the first time she was feeling like this again.

"Oh shit," Lena whispered before kissing Kara.

"Ride my fingers slowly..." Said Kara softly and Lena lifted herself on Kara's knees. kissing Lena's lips several times.

Lena wants more. She moves tentatively but gains confidence as she goes. Kara helped Lena find confidence in making her back arch.

Over and over, Kara slides slowly into Lena before reaching between them and rubbing her clit. An intense pressure like Lena never knew fills her lower area, and then suddenly there's instant release, and she feels amazing. Really, really amazing. And suddenly she cried out…

Kara wrapped her arm around Lena and let her cry in her arms without saying a word. she was just listening to Lena´s heartbeat.

"You really love me? I can believe you did it Kara...I..." Lena asks. Lena appreciates the other things Kara said, but she's more concerned with the love aspect of everything.

"I do. I don't care how long it takes for you to see that I am crazy about you. From the moment I met you, I knew you were going to be my wife. I love you," Kara said with tears in her eyes.

"I love you too," Lena whispers and then hurls herself into Kara´s arms. Kara kisses her, and Lena finds herself making love all day long with Kara like in the old days in college when it was just her and Kara and no fear.

After that morning her nightmares vanished slowly with a lot of work, but Kara helped her, and after two years of dating and finding the light in Lena's darkness...Kara popped the question with a diamond ring.

Maxwell Lord died after his trial just a few days before the wedding. It was a personal wedding present from Mercy and Otis. Both decided that Eve should be free and happy with Mr. Schott.

Lena couldn't believe she survived her personal nightmare. Her brother threatened and the nightmare that happened in Metropolis, but she did it because she was holding up her love for Kara. Lena knew that her love for Kara was so strong that she would survive. 

Kara tore down Lena´s defense walls with her love fighting every day to reach her hand on that long dark bridge and bring back her confidence to be the old strong Lena that everyone knew and loved.

The end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will be the last chapter of this fanfic.
> 
> The context of this story was too realistic, evil, and not for every reader's taste, but I guess my next story will be much funnier related to the title context of SG for season 6.  
> "No! Kara will not die we are not using the D-word for the next season..."
> 
> So if you like to read my new fanfic the title is called: Jarhanpurian Lovebug.
> 
> Thank you for reading.
> 
> Vespina.


End file.
